Break a Leg!

Who am I? Where am I?

2011-10-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

Talk about overwhelmed!! I know I haven't posted in a LONG, LONG time. Right now, my cat is pretty sick (kidney stones and possible diabetes); she is having surgery tomorrow, and I'm working on a new play which opens in three weeks.

Meanwhile, this school year sucks in ALL POSSIBLE ways. I am so wishing I could find a job in NY and just move. The house, meanwhile, feels like it's falling apart. Every time I think I'm going to get something fixed, something ELSE goes wrong. And my sister calls while I'm trying to get ready for tomorrow's classes, it's almost 4:00, and I should have left 20 minutes earlier to get home an hour, another half hour north to the vet to drop off the cat, and back about an hour and a half to rehearsal.... just to talk....

The play is the only good thing going on right now, but being at rehearsal four nights a week and very early on Saturdays is about to wear me down, along with everything else going on. I have spent my last few weekends working on work and rehearsing. Haven't had time to spend with the people I want to spend it with, and it's getting to me.

This, too, shall pass!! It's almost Halloween!! :) I can't believe October is almost over!! Hopefully, my sanity will return with the change of the month. Or the kids' sanity will.... or something.

The Melting Pot restaurant

2010-04-16T15:05:00.001-07:00

A fondue restaurant. NOT a success overall. The food is WAY too spicy, and I've never before had to pay to cook my own meal.

However, I DO have to say that the manager was AMAZING. He did absolutely everything in his power to make it as nice as possible, even to the point of bringing us more (unseasoned) meat.

We went to celebrate my sister's birthday. The staff did give her a birthday card, which was nice.

The first course was a cheese fondue, with bread, etc. to dunk. It was ok. The second course is a salad. The salad itself was GREAT. Unfortunately, they only have two or three choices of salad dressing, none of which my sis liked. She saved her salad to take home. I thought the Sweet and Tangy (reminiscent of a honey mustard) was decent.

Then came the meat. We figured we chose a meat. No, you get some chicken, some steak and some shrimp. As I'm allergic to shellfish, that limited what I could eat. The chicken was so spicy, it was almost inedible. They brought us all kinds of sauces, none of which any of us liked.... even the tempura batter was spicy. UGH. When he heard the problem, the manager did go back and bring us unseasoned meat. Which was very nice, and OH, so much better!! I honestly had never heard of a place where you choose a 'broth' and cook the meat. We chose an oil and a chicken stock-type broth. Unfortunately, you had to cook one or two pieces at a time, and it was pretty greasy.

Finally, the dessert. A chocolate fondue, with a platter of fruits, brownies, rice krispie treats, etc. to be dunked. I actually just preferred the fruit plain. They did bring my sister an extra plate of goodies with a candle in it to celebrate her birthday. Which was very nice.

AND, they didn't kick us out at 10 when they closed... we had no idea it was so late until we left at 10:30.

So, the food-- ugh. I really wouldn't care to go back to eat.

But the staff-- AWESOME.

Star Trek Film

2009-06-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big Star Trek fan, especially TOS. just never felt like the writing or the acting, for the most part, were very engaging. I like Next Gen and DS9, but have never been a Voyager fan, and just didn't bother to even go see the last three or so movies.

I was talked into going to see this one, though, and I'm SO glad I did! It was absolutely fantastic! I loved all the little tributes they made to TOS, and the respect they showed for it and for the fans (since I know several people who are really strong, longtime fans of TOS). I liked learning about the backstory, although I really would have liked to have seen more of Kirk's mother-- what happened to her? She just kind of disappeared.

The acting was incredible, the sets and special effects were wonderful and the writing was excellent!!!!!

Has anybody out there seen it? What did you think? Good or bad! LOL! Any other big summer films you want to see or have seen and recommend?

WHEW!!!

2009-06-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

Spring is FINALLY over!!!!!!!

I will never, never, NEVER agree to stage manage a show again, not even for my best friend! A friend begged and pleaded and G. and I felt sorry for them and wanted to help, but neither of us knew what we were getting into. And, no matter WHAT, I won't agree to do it again. It takes up WAY too much time and energy for no payback. If I'm going to waste my time and be sleep-deprived, I'm going to do it ONSTAGE, thank you very much. Not backstage.

During the time we were doing this, I took another workshop with T... and although I loved my scene partner (she was great), I was disheartened when I found out he gave us Chekov... CHEKOV! Let me just say, I am NOT a fan of ANY Russian writers. Just not. IMO, they are too wordy, I don't care for the awkwardness of the language (at least in translation) and they are always SO depressing. I should have known, though.... T. and J. liked it a lot the first time, spent some time talking with us about it, and with one or two sentences, gave me a whole new perspective not just on the scene, but the whole play.

I also took a workshop with an agent from NYC. Got a standing ovation for the one monologue we did, and she felt I had a breakthrough... I really think I got what I need to get the 'rest of the way' to the changes I need to make for film/tv. It was GREAT to actually get to work with a partner-- that really made a BIG difference. She said I needed to get up there, get started with T.'s studio (which I'm going to do, because I'm not going to do anything else down here that TM is in charge of), and get some exposure. The agents need to see your work, they prefer work on stage, and you've got to be there for them to do that. That is the next step. The problem is finding a job right now.... it is not easy.

I am really glad that the school year is over, though!! This one seemed to go by SO fast, and I felt 'behind' from the very beginning, and like I was playing catchup all year long. Now, after a hellacious Friday getting things ready and set up, summer school starts on Monday. I actually don't mind it, except for the heat!!!! It will go by more quickly than I can imagine, too, I'm sure, and it'll be time to go back for the new school year.

Pinter.... why does it have to be Pinter?

2009-03-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

We went to see a friend of G.s in a Pinter show last night. He was EXCELLENT. His two co-stars were not up to his level, but the one who played his wife wasn't bad. I am, however, NOT a Pinter fan. Ever. Especially after the last Pinter show I stagemanaged. So, although I was happy to go and to see M. in the show, I dreaded sitting through Pinter.

I have to say that the best thing about it is that it was SHORT. And I do mean SHORT. Each act was only about 40 minutes.... so we were out of there by 9:30. Then G. and I went looking for someplace to have dessert and discovered -- yet AGAIN, that there is noplace to go around there, especially on a Saturday night. It's all bars. UGH. The one place we might have gone (which is where we had dinner before the show) was charging a cover because they were showing a fight in the bar... ::SIGH:: We found a little place where we got something to drink and talked..... 'til almost 12 (almost 1 with the clock changes).

Things are happening quickly.... by June, he'll probably be in NYC.... and I am hoping I'll be there soon..... this is such a bad time to be making such a move, but both of us know we have to, and he was told that housing prices are actually down right now, and will probably be going back up. He's got both a job offer and an agent interested and waiting for him to get up there. He just has to find a place to live (which is NOT easy!!!).

I can't leave until at least the school year is over and I need to find a job. We both HATE it here, though, and whether we are acting or not, both of us would be much happier there. Finding a job right now is not easy, though. I keep telling myself that things work out as they are meant to... they always have and they will this time. It's just a matter of timing.

I asked D. about places to live up there.... going to go up some weekend and she's going to show us around and she does know the places to avoid!!!!!! I really didn't want to come home when we went to see Pal Joey... it would be a dream to be living there. Working at T.s studio and auditioning, hopefully booking jobs. Never know until you get there, because no-one will even LOOK at you unless you live there and they can come see your work.

We're both getting our places ready, getting rid of stuff... it just seems like you pay twice as much there for half as much space!!!!!!!

Murder Mystery Night

2009-03-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

Ever been to a murder mystery night? Neither had I. There was actually a group that I thought about joining a few years ago, but they were really too far away for me to do it on a regular basis. But, P.'s temple did this, and she really wanted us all to go. J1 didn't go, but J2 did... although J2 and L. got lost on the way there, so they didn't get there until the mystery was half over.... oh, well. The food was okay (although the desserts were great!!!).

It was a 'high school reunion." We got to meet a few of the classmates and one of their former teachers. It was kinda fun. The actors were fairly funny and had a good way of involving the crowd. It was fun, but after dessert, they did "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Now THAT was funny, and really good. They asked for different theatre styles, and a couple of us said Kabuki.... obviously, they had no clue what kabuki IS, but it was fun to watch anyway.... they also didn't know what 'peevishness' is (or how to spell it) when they asked for different emotions), but we thought they should do an evening of it. Y'know, a bit before dinner, a bit after dinner, a bit after dessert, y'know...... it would be a LOT of fun.

So, even though I have had a 'relapse' of the cold I had last week, and I didn't feel great, I'm still VERY glad I went.

Today, we are supposed to have MAJOR snow... first 'real' snow of the season, and frankly, I could do without it. UGH.

Lion King

2009-02-28T11:11:00.001-08:00

So, my principal comes to me two or three weeks ago and says, "Do you have any Broadway connections?" Um, none that are going to get you tickets cheaper, that's for sure!!!! So, she asks me to see about tickets to The Lion King for sometime in May, as a graduation gift for some of the kids. OK. Fine. You couldn't have asked a little SOONER?

I never expected, however, to have such a ridiculously difficult time getting tickets for a show! It was unreal! You have to put in a request for tickets to the 3rd party company, wait for THEM to submit it to the box office, and wait for their response.... which takes 3-5 days. So, I submit. I get back a notification that tickets weren't available, but I should call to 'discuss other dates when tickets may be available.' So I call. To be told that they don't KNOW when tickets are available, they just submit the requests. So, I ask who DOES know what's available? The box office. Then how do I get in touch with the box office? You can't. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, he tells me 'if you have 20 days when your group can go, submit for all 20 days." So I do.... which takes ANOTHER 45 minutes.

And get a call the next day, asking WHY I did that... um, because I was TOLD to? So, STILL not knowing when tickets are available, he chooses 3 dates and says he'll submit those. So, we get a date that we can't use.

Meanwhile, I had actually GONE to the box office, to see if I could get some information directly from them... and they were EXTREMELY nice and helpful, but basically what I found out was that there was not much available where they would have the seats we needed together. ::SIGH::

Fortunately, the principal knew of a group that works specifically with school groups, so we did get tickets.... best deal we were going to find at this point. And I get to be the 'official guide' to NYC. LOL!!!!!!! I am really looking forward to it!!!! FINALLY.... who would have thought that it would be SUCH a huge deal? Anyway, now to find out about other things to see in NYC and where to take a group of kids to eat in close proximity to the theatre that would have food they will want to eat!!!!!

Joey is my Pal!!!!

2009-02-28T11:00:00.001-08:00

Oh, it was wonderful!!! We drove to NYC, had a great dinner, and walked 14 blocks to the old Studio 54 (which is now the Roundhouse Theatre) to see Stockard Channing in Pal Joey.

How FABULOUS was she?! And the guy who played Joey, though I didn't know him, was JUST as fabulous. I am STILL trying to figure out how they made some of those quick changes, including one where they went from one side of the stage to the other and had a costume change before coming back out on stage within a minute..... we had a great time, stopped for cheesecake on the way back... didn't get home until 4 am, but I tell you, I did NOT want to leave. I HATE living here. Just LOVE New York so much.

We ARE moving to NYC. Gotta find a job and sell the house (and this is NOT the time to sell the house, but still......)

Have you ever......

2009-01-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

volunteered to do something, and it ended up being a LOT more than you intended??????????

After the 3 shows back-to-back, and 2 films, I decided I needed a little bit of a break. I thought January was going to BE that break, since in Feb., I'll most likely be teaching SAT prep some Saturdays.

Except G. was stagemanaging a show, and I said I'd help out... I'm figuring I'll be back stage, helping out a few shows, on the weekends, after they open. Well... not so much. More like being there for two solid weeks until midnight, running the boards, and ending up stage managing! ACK!!

Not that I mind, really, I am enjoying it. BUT, sleep deprivation is MAJORLY catching up with me!!!!
Now that the run has started, there are 3 of us, so we are rotating shows (which is nice because it means I don't have to be there for every show, but kind of defeats the purpose of DOING this, which was to spend time with G! LOL!). So, today I'm trying to catch up on some stuff around here, get some rest, and find the @*%@)(% script I had to buy of Glass Menagerie (even though I already HAD it but couldn't find it) and now THIS one has disappeared! ARGH! I need it for a monologue for a class I'm taking (with the director from the show I'm stage managing now). Which was supposed to have started last Monday, but the weather was so bad, only three of us showed up , so he postponed it. Which was good, except I still haven't been able to find it... and do not want to spend ANOTHER $10 on it!

Last Ditch Effort......

2009-01-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

of 2008 to suck the life out of everyone... here's how I spent most of my New Year's Eve......

Spent most of it in the ER. A friend was taken there. She was at work and went to a store to get something to eat. When she walked in, they had a mat on the floor-- she tripped over it, hit her head on the counter, and the girl who was with her fell on top of HER. We wouldn't have even known except we decided to call several hours later to see if she'd gotten out of work early. So, we had to get down there-- down in the city and my other friend (her sister) who was with me HATES driving in the city. So, I drove, we finally found it, and got in to see her. They don't think she had a concussion, and she didn't break anything, but she has a NASTY cut on her nose from where she hit the counter, and probably has a nice black and blue nose and eyes this morning. She can't wear her glasses and thus can't drive. They have glued the cut on her nose.

Her car was in the parking garage at work, and would be towed if she left it.... SO, off we go, when she FINALLY gets released (and we insist that she's coming home with us and staying with her sis for the night-- she only relents when the doc says, "That's a very good idea."). Only problem is that her pass card won't work from the outside (because as far as the computer knows, she's still in the building-- she didn't 'check' her car out, so no-one else can use it to get in). I'm sitting there, with no way out except to possibly back up out into the road, when two cars come up behind me and start honking.... and I have nowhere to go. ::SIGH::.... they manage to get in the garage, but can't find anyone to help them get her car out (and get ME out of there someway! LOL!). FINALLY, I guess someone came back to the booth, and came out to open the door so I could get in, they finally get her car (with her sis-- the one who gets sick to her stomach driving in the city--driving) out of the parking garage (her card wouldn't let her out, either, so we had to get someone else to let us out... ::SIGH::)....after MANY long minutes, we are out and on our way home..... FINALLY getting out of the city and friend is starving, 'cause she hadn't eaten any breakfast and didn't get the lunch she was going after. So we stop somewhere to eat (try finding a place that's open on NYE and not full of people with reservations!!)..... then she finally got to relax (although it's VERY difficult for her not to be able to SEE, and she can't wear her glasses until Monday).... and I'm exhausted! LOL!

But at least it all happened BEFORE 2008 was over.... Happy 2009!!!! :)

Thank GOD!!!!!! 2009 is here!!!

2009-01-03T07:22:00.000-08:00

Well, 2008 sucked in almost EVERY single way. Well, except a couple-- that would be meeting G. He played my husband in the last show I did, and we started talking, as he is bound and determined (and was before I met him), to move to NYC (well, the NJ suburbs-- he whispered DESPERATELY "suburbs, suburbs" and I wholeheartedly agreed with him-- unless you have BEAUCOUP bucks, Manhatten is NOT the place to be). I decided the time has come to quit putting it off, since I've been saying for several years, "Someday...."-- part of the problem has been my recertification and selling the house.

We discussed it... then one day he nonchalontly says, "I was talking to (the director) and he said, "Why don't you and she just get a place together?" So, that looks like a strong possibility. The only problem is that he's ALLERGIC TO CATS! OMG!! :*( He said, "I wouldn't want to make you get rid of them...." and I told him we'd figure it out.... I THINK maybe J. would benefit. Her furbaby, D., is probably not going to live much longer. :*( I think having some lap kitties might make her feel better. I haven't broached the subject with her yet, but we'll see what she says. I was talking to T., and she suggested perhaps renting out the house until the prices improve.... and that is a possibility, because I just don't think I'm going to get a price that I can live with right now. Maybe in a year or two, it'll be better. If I leave here (which I want to desperately), I'm not coming back. G. said, "If it doesn't work out, we can always come back here." Uh-uh. I HATE it here... and he doesn't like it much, either.

He is an actor (didn't I PROMISE myself no more actors?! LOL!!!), but I feel no reservations with him.... unlike everyone else I've dated in the past!!!!! We will see where it leads. Here I thought that January would be a bit of a breather, but it looks like it's going to be as busy as October, November and December were!!!!!

Anyway, so there ARE some good things to look forward to in 2009.... and good RIDDANCE to 2008!! As a year, it just SUCKED royal duck eggs.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(even if I do have to go back to work on Monday... UGH!)

The S-Word...... :O

2008-12-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

Snow, that is...... we had it last night. UGH!!! We were going to go see a show last night (our last weekend off before Christmas), but the weather was so bad and the ice was so bad that we decided not to go, since it was over an hour away. And I was upset. But, boy, was it nice to have a night to just sit with a fire and relax. :)

Today, it's FREEZING!!! SO, cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am STILL so not ready for winter! Didn't want to go out, but had to go out for rehearsal tonight.... UGH. Rehearsal wasn't bad, though..... and not too late.

The weekend

2008-12-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a friend who keeps you on the phone... for HOURS? And not that you mind, but you'd like to get some sleep sometime? I have a friend who is like that... and we've been talking on the phone a lot lately, because she's been going through some real crap. Not ordinary crap, but 'Can we just go back and start the whole month over?" kinda stuff... but we were on the phone until THREE O'CLOCK in the morning... and this is not the only night-- twice this last week, we were on the phone until at least midnight..... and I have to get up at 5:30.... ::SIGH::

This last week was ROUGH. We are having a Faculty Choir for our Christmas show at school, and we had a rehearsal.. that I don't mind. And we had our faculty Christmas lunch on Friday-- and I was actually near home, so that was cool, too. We went to Olive Garden, and it really wasn't all that good. :( But, anyway....

THIS week, however, is going to be even worse, because it's tech week. Starting tonight, every single night until next weekend, when we have Opening Night, 2 shows on Saturday and one on Sunday. It was the birthday of one of the kids in the show, so we had cupcakes.. really cool.

Got the Christmas tree up, and some of the other decorations up, so it's starting to look at least a LITTLE like Christmas...... :)

Mobilization Friday

2008-12-07T18:45:00.000-08:00

As I'm sure most of you know, Prop 8 which denied gay couples the right to get married, passed. The status of those who've already gotten married is in limbo, but the state Supreme Court has agreed to hear an appeal. On Friday, there were rallies protesting the passage of Prop 8. Please, EVERYONE, even if you weren't able to go, at least let your voice be heard, and express how you feel about it to the California authorities. Everyone
deserves the right to get married..... help keep them from taking that right away.

Fun, fun, fun!!!

2008-11-29T14:15:00.000-08:00

We went to see Bolt today... just a FABULOUS movie!! Really well-done and a lot of fun.

Tonight, we're going to see The Sisters Rosenzweig-- I can't wait... I LOVE Wendy Wasserstein!!!!! We were going to go to C's house and watch The Secret, but we're going to wait until January when another girl from the cast can join us. :)

Trying also to get the house cleaned up a bit and will need to do some work for work tomorrow-- this weekend has gone by SOOOO fast. After? We went to Golden Corral... and all of a sudden, I hear, "Ms. XXXXX! Ms. XXXXXX!!!" And, there, big as life, was one of my kids. One of my favorite kids, but it's my time OFF!! LOL!! He's such a sweetie, though.. so we talked for a minute. He didn't seem thrilled with his Thanksgiving. :( Oh, well, we all needed a break anyway.

Tomorrow, Sis is coming up and she may take my old car. I took it and got it cleaned yesterday. Still need to get the oil changed and new windshield wipers. If she doesn't want to keep it after she drives it, she'll take it down to Mom... thing is, it's got over 100,000 miles on it....

I STILL have to deal with the insurance on my BRAND NEW car. Parked on the street last week, and someone trying to pull out apparently didn't make it and cracked the bumper and the tail light... ::SIGH:: I'm STILL pissed. AND I'm going to have to pay for it BIG time. :(

Anyway, we'll probably go out to eat.

I need to work on my lines, too.... BIG time-- before Monday. We took pics last Monday, and I need to get my bio to M tonight, too.... so not a whole lot of rest this weekend, but some time to get some stuff done that I might not have gotten done otherwise.

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

2008-11-26T17:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it's here. I'm doing a little cooking, but not cooking the whole thing this year, and we are going to a friend's house. I said I'd come by early and help her cook! ACK!!

Anyway, I'm having some real difficulty getting that thankful feeling right now-- the last few weeks have been very difficult, and every time I get any news, it seems it's bad news. :(

Anyway, I'm going to get myself in that mood, no matter what. I DO know I have a lot to be thankful for, and my problems are nothing compared to what a lot of people are going through right now.... I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for everything to just disappear. I can't help it, I feel like I'm on tenterhooks, and you can cut the tension with a knife just walking down the street or into a store-- EVERYONE seems to be feeling it, even the kids, who have been really off the last few weeks-- I really do think they are feeling it, as well, even if no-one's talking about it to or in front of them.

Anyway, here's my 'Thankful for' list this year.

1) My mom and my family. We may argue and fight, but I love them and don't think I could make it without them.
2) That I have a job.... at least, as Avenue Q puts it, "for now...."
3) That I have health insurance.... even if it is costing more than I can afford.
4) That I have a car to worry about getting crunched while parked on the street... I am PISSED, especially because it's a new car... but it IS only a car.... even though my insurance premiums are now going to skyrocket (::SIGH::).
5) That I have a house-- even if it is having plumbing problems, and needs to be painted, and the roof needs to be inspected, and the foundation needs to be fixed, and the water heater just had to be replaced, and..... it's a house, we can afford it ('for now'), and overall, I am happy in it. It's got good 'vibes.'
6) My friends. I have the BEST friends around.
7) My kitties-- they give so much love, and ask for only a bit of food and loving in return. :)
8) That our health seems to be holding its own, including Mom's.....
9) My kids, who really are great, even when they're driving me crazy!!!!!

And now, I need to go cook, and get over my feeling of wanting to hibernate and not talk to anybody tonight.....

It's Official

2008-11-25T15:54:00.000-08:00

I'd been hoping this wouldn't happen, but it has. The National Board has asked for a strike authorization vote, and they will be sending out the ballots soon (the last I heard, they don't have a date for that yet). I am VERY disappointed in Unite for Strength. I mean, I know they formed and ran on the platform of returning to bargaining with AFTRA, but come on, people! You ran and you WON! YOU'RE the governing 'party' now.... to have absolutely NO public statement or comment on the possibility of a strike when the Negotiating Committee gave you back that right and recommended it? I have a REAL problem with that.

Anyway, I have no idea how I would vote if they sent out the ballots..... my guess is they think they can get the 75% vote or they wouldn't have announced it publicly. I guess we'll have to wait and see.... seems like that's all we're doing-- waiting to see what will happen. NOT a good feeling.... not a good feeling at all.

Well.......

2008-11-25T15:50:00.001-08:00

It's been a long, long time since I've actually posted. I have been unbelievably overwhelmed over the last few months. I have filmed two movies in the last six months, and at one point in October, I was doing two shows at the same time. I am now down to one (and will never, EVER do two shows at the same time again!!!!). A Christmas show, and it's going to be a lot of fun.

The guy who plays my husband is really cute. :))))) I saw him in another show at the same theatre a couple of months ago.... I'm glad he's playing this part. He told me last night that his goal is to move to NYC... which is my goal also.... but the timing couldn't be worse, with furloughs and possible layoffs, and the housing market sucking. So, we wait.

I SWORE I wouldn't get involved with any more actors!! But he doesn't seem the typical actor type-- was born in Hawaii and grew up in TN, so we have a connection there.

Also went to see two shows last weekend, AND a movie called 2013-- it was interesting, but I really wish I hadn't seen it-- I don't need to hear anything more that's negative right now.

Has Anybody Seen......

2008-06-06T20:11:00.001-07:00

my old friend Bobby?

Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walking over the hill
with Abraham, Martin and John.

You are sorely missed......

Disgusted, Disheartened and Disillusioned

2008-06-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

This is a very sad day. The day when it was proven that votes don't mean anything. When a few people can arbitrarily decide which rules to follow and which ones not to, which votes to count and which ones not to, and who can on a whim tell voters who voted for ONE candidate and give them to another.

I am ashamed to say I WAS a Democrat. A group of people who figure they can ignore more than half of the voters' wishes, who can disregard their votes if they choose. A group of people who crown a candidate and do whatever they need to do to manipulate the process so that he is the nominee.

I can not in good conscience vote for someone who is a liar, who contradicts himself on major positions, who has not a CLUE about foreign policy, who hasn't paid his dues, who has shown no leadership, and who has NOTHING to recommend him to the office of president.

And Obama cannot win in November with half of the party having been dismissed and disrespected.

I MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-25T15:30:00.001-07:00

Whew!!! I really didn't think I was going to make it through the 8 weeks between Easter and Memorial Day, during which we had NO break whatsoever.

But I DID! And we will finish testing this week. And the kids are doing great. So, this is really good!!!

I have been shooting a film for the last few weeks. Tomorrow is my final scene, so I don't have tomorrow off, but today was nice. We went to see the new Indiana Jones move. Harrison Ford? GORGEOUS! The storyline of the movie? FABULOUS! The chase scenes? Funny-- which is saying something for me, because I DO NOT like the action-type stuff. Shia LaBoef? TERRIFIC. MUCH better than I thought he would be. And the ending? PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you liked the first one, you'll like this one.

Then we went to Chili's, which was not all that great, but.....

As for the movie I'm doing, it's a horror movie, and I got to die... which was a LOT of fun! :) And they managed to NOT get any of the blood on my hair or clothes. Which was a GOOD thing, 'cause I didn't get home until almost midnight, and I was NOT looking forward to having to wash my hair and soak out that dress (because that wasn't the final scene, and it needed NOT to have bloodstains on it!).

The last two weekends, I've also been doing another workshop with T.... REALLY valuable. We did a scene from The Glass Menagerie, which was REALLY intense for both me and my scene partner. And almost all of the other scenes were pretty intense, too. There was one I need to order the script for-- I think I might get a good monologue out of it!! :) So, between work, rehearsing for these scenes, testing and filming the last couple of weeks have been EXHAUSTING. I am BEAT. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow... call time's not 'til 2. We MIGHT have a cookout afterwards, not sure... we'll kinda play it by ear.

We were also celebrating Ps birthday, too. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but she's starting to get on my nerves sometimes, and J's, too. :( I don't know, and both of us are trying to tamp down the impatience we sometimes feel..... and maybe part of it is that we're both really tired right now.

J is trying to prepare for an operation on her foot that she needs, and has been working on getting her kitchen in shape. She DESPERATELY needed a new refrigerator (her old one was OLD, AND it opened in the wrong direction, PLUS there simply wasn't room for the door to open. It also didn't keep food all that cold). Her new one has french doors, so it's PERFECT. Plenty of space, and it looks great, too!! She's also a bit stressed in preparing to retire, so I know she's a bit on edge, and maybe I am, too, because of the stress of the last few weeks.

Here's to a relaxing day tomorrow, and a relatively stress-free week!!

TVs

2008-04-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I have a TV in the kitchen that is NOT hooked up to the satellite. Back when we moved in, they only offered 2 rooms-- now, it's FOUR. ARGH. Anyway, so the kitchen TV is just an antenna and a DVD player, so I can watch DVDs while I'm working in the kitchen or in the living/dining room.

And, we KNEW that as of February, that TV is no longer going to work. So, I was researching to find the kind of TV I wanted for the kitchen. Because the converter boxes? Cost money (even if you do get a coupon), and may not work with your current antenna. So, we figured we might as well just go ahead and get a new small TV for the kitchen. We COULD pay to have it hooked up and pay the extra each month, but.... nah. (Although Mom is nagging me-- she'd like to have it when she visits! :) And maybe we will at some point).

But, THEN, all of a sudden, the admittedly small TV in the family room that we were NOT going to replace since it's hooked up to satellite and there was no real REASON to replace it, suddenly stopped working. Worked one night, the next night, no sound. Full stop. No matter WHAT you did. Checked the others-- no problem. Brought down the little TV from the kitchen-- worked PERFECTLY. So, the TV was a bust. It's only about 7 years old! ::SIGH::

So, we spent MUCH more than we should have for a new TV for the family room, and now I really don't know what to do about the kitchen. After Feb., it won't be good for anything but playing DVDs. But I just can't see shelling out several MORE hundreds of dollars for another TV now....... but they've said even with the converter box, the old one may well not work without an outdoor (mounted) antenna. Well, not exactly an earth-shattering issue, especially right now. Just an annoyance. I HATE spending money I don't have to (or for things I didn't plan on!).

Where is spring?????

2008-04-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

Why is spring ALWAYS just knock-me-on-my-butt busy? ALWAYS.

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, the first week of April is done. Thank GOODNESS!!! We still have 7 weeks (and an observation, and standardized testing) to go!

The end of the year is already in full swing. We are preparing for end-of-year testing, graduation, etc. The spring program is coming up, so the music teacher was working with them on that.

Next Saturday will be SAT prep again. I honestly don't mind, I just hate getting up at O'dark 30 on a SATURDAY.

Mom got us an umbrella and deck furniture... yes, we've been using plain white plastic chairs (kiddy-chairs, she calls them-- they are NOT!-- and she refuses to sit in them anymore when she visits!!!) and the built-in bench (which, admittedly, goes the entire width of the deck, so not shabby). The deck is BLISTERING, though, because it gets the afternoon sun-- will be nice to have an umbrella to block some of the sun, that's for sure! My sis brought them home in her van (she's been dropping off their puppy for some Grandma time while they've been on the road), so now we have to drive two hours to go get them..... when they're actually HOME.

Meanwhile, where is spring?! We've had one or two really nice days, and the rest have been cold and/or rainy. UGH! More rain tonight-- in fact, we've had some SERIOUS wind and are supposed to have major thunderstorms tonight. UGH! again.....

the bushes outside need to be trimmed, the yard needs to be cleaned up, and it's too bloody cold or wet on the few days we're home to actually DO it. Maybe tomorrow. ::SIGH::

Happy Holidays!

2008-03-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

To all those who celebrate Easter, may it be a joyous one.

To those celebrating Purim, may it be a joyful and funfilled one... eat some hamentaschen for me!!! :)

And I? I have some time off for spring break! I am SO excited and looking forward to it!! (Until April, of course, when we have TWO SOLID MONTHS without a single break. Not one between spring break and Memorial Day-- UGH! I am NOT looking forward to that!).

5th Anniversary

2008-03-19T15:37:00.001-07:00

Today is it. Five years since we invaded and occupied Iraq. 5 years since our men and women began dying, to the tune of 4,000. Five years since we began spending TEN BILLION dollars a week. Five years since we were promised, "It'll be quick," and "they'll greet us as liberators," and, "the oil in Iraq means the war will pay for itself." Five years since, "Mission Accomplished."

I watched the demonstrators, sick to my stomach to realize we are STILL there, with no real end in sight. Sick to my stomach at the cost in lives lost, tens of thousands of American lives destroyed, unknown (because Bush refuses to let them be counted) numbers of Iraqi lives lost and destroyed. Sick to my stomach at the effect it has had on our economy... can anyone REALLY believe that the 'downturn' (ie-- recession) that Bush has been ignoring for years and only FINALLY admitted when he was given no choice, is not partially the result of the deficit spending we've taken on, the selling of our country (in the form of debt) to the Chinese and Japanese, the printing of worthless money to stem the tide of that debt which causes the VALUE of that money to freefall, the 'spend, spend, spend or the terrorists will win" attitude???? I don't see how anyone can claim otherwise.

And Bush is STILL telling us this is a noble and justifiable use of 'lives and treasure.' FINALLY, FINALLY, the majority of people beg to differ. I fear it's too late, though. I worry that no matter who is elected, we are so far in that we will not be able to get out. We simply CANNOT go on spending the kind of money we're spending and sacrificing the lives we're sacrificing. Our police officers are now having trouble getting bullets for their guns, and those they CAN get are costing almost half again as much as before the war. The suppliers' stated priority is to provide ammunition for our troops, which IS, of course, absolutely necessary. However, our police at home are now less safe and more of the budget is going to that rather than other things like pay increases, maintenance of cars, purchase of new cars, PAL activities, etc.

We also have absolutely NO IDEA of the cost just in MONEY for the services the returning vets who've been traumatized, emotionally or physically, often permanently. These are costs that we will be paying for DECADES. And, of course, we MUST pay them. We OWE it to them. They pay the cost in the destruction of the lives they've known, we pay the cost in money to attempt to repair or support those lives. This war WILL, however, aside from the emotional cost, continue to cost us BILLIONS for decades, even if we are NOT in Iraq for 100 years, as McCain thinks.

Thanks for the legacy, Mr. Bush. I'm sure our grandchildren will thank you while they attempt to dig themselves out from under it.

Barack and Religion

2008-03-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today of Barack Obama's reaction to Don Imus' "nappy headed ho" comment. He rightly condemned it, stating that his daughters were "beautiful, African-American, tall, and I hope someday will be interested enough in sports to earn a scholarship." He was offended for his daughters as African-American women.as he ought to have been. When asked if Imus should be fired, he stated that, "I don't want to enable programming consisting of such offensive comments," and," he wouldn't be working for me."

Okay, fine. I'm with him all the way. I was, as a woman and as an American, EXTREMELY offended by Imus' remarks, and even more, puzzled by them. I also felt he should have been fired.

Contrast this reaction to his reaction towards his 'spiritual mentor' (and, no matter how he denies it, his political adviser), whose comments he initially felt were 'no big deal.' What I don't understand is why he would fire Imus but not fire his spiritual mentor. Why he is offended for his daughters when they are attacked as African American women, but not when they are attacked as white women. I dont understand why he is not offended for his wife, whom he has described as carrying the blood of slaves and slave owners. When Rev. Wright attacked white people, he was attacking Barack Obama's FAMILY. When he attacked this country from the pulpit, he was attacking EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL in that sanctuary. Yet, Barack Obama seems to have no problem at ALL with that. Doesn't think it's any big deal. Doesn't think having his children being TAUGHT this is a problem.

What message is he sending to his children by his silence and refusal to 'abandon' Mr. Wright, by having his children listen to such attacks on them, and hardly daring to even MENTION the family that RAISED him until it was expedient for him to do so? Seems to me that the message he's sending to them is that half of who he is (really more, when you consider they are the ones who RAISED him) and a great portion of who THEY are is something of which to be ashamed, to hide and to pretend is non-existent-- unless it suddenly benefits you to trot it out. Is that the message we should be sending to our children? Isn't that what offended so many blacks about those who 'passed' years ago? Is that REALLY the message he wants to send to the majority of American voters?

That hatred by one individual is more acceptable than hatred by another?

Dazed and Confused

2008-03-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

One of my students had a fire at his home this week.... the house was a total loss; they have temporary housing but nothing else. We are all just in shock. My poor little baby; he seems to be doing as well as can be expected... everyone's been fussing over him since he came back. The PTA is setting up a fund drive to help them, and we've all decided pretty much that it's better to give them money so they can buy what they want/need rather than try to figure out what they need (and perhaps have several people give them the same thing or something they DON'T want/need).

Also, a friend of mine has said she would make him a special blanket. I know that will make him feel better. Annie, you are a hero and an angel! You truly are!!!! I aspire to be like you!!

Lazy, Lazy!!!!

2008-03-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess not REALLY, but it sure feels like it!!!! Worked yesterday, so had to get up early. SAT prep, which I actually don't mind doing, but it's a LONG morning. Once I got home, I got so involved in reading blogs (and sort of catching up on mine), I didn't do a whole lot after work!!!

And then we lost an hour of sleep last night..ARGH! Woke up at 8:30, feeling like a slug, and realized it's REALLY 7:30... which, granted is late (especially for me), but not THAT late!! Maybe I'll actually not wake up at 4:00 for a while, hoping to get back to sleep! I'm not sure this Daylight Savings Time is a good thing... especially so EARLY in the year... everything seems to be rushed this year, coming before it's 'supposed to.' Lent, Easter-- rushing Spring!

Now, I should be doing all the things I was SUPPOSED to do yesterday. 4 hours of SAT just really takes it out of me, and I don't have much energy to do a whole lot the rest of the day.

Off to enjoy more of the blog party!! :)

Shabbat Shalom!

2008-03-08T12:48:00.001-08:00

Well, last night was Shabbat Across America. I went with P, and we had a great time!! The dinner was catered, so it was really good-- eggplant pasta of some kind, and lasagna, along with an excellent salad. Then they had the Shabbat service-- we didn't stay for that part, though, because she had to be back early this morning for services, and I had to work early this morning. They had oneg after, which I'm glad we didn't stay for, because I am trying to eliminate sugar as much as possible. It was great-- we sat with some people I didn't know, and some I got to catch up with-- haven't been going on Sundays, so I haven't seen a lot of them for quite a while. The kids got to do their thing with the Israeli flags (although the suggestion was made that they should have had American flags as well, since it is Shabbat Across AMERICA-- I agree with that, and it will be suggested to them for next year). There weren't as many people there this year as last, which was a shame. :( But it was a lot of fun!

Shabbat Shalom to everyone across the nation who celebrated Shabbat as a family and as a country. :)

Ultimate Blog Party 2008

2008-03-08T12:06:00.001-08:00

Hi!!

Welcome to my home!!! I SO need a party right now, I am feeling the end-of-winter doldrums, wondering if spring will EVER get here!!!!!

I am an actor, who is also a teacher. It's fun, it's exhausting and I love it! Especially now that the writer's strike is over!!!!!

I love my cats, I love my family, and I love my kids!!!!!

Why do I blog? I have no idea. I didn't even READ any blogs until August or September of last year... and, suddenly, one day, I found myself on the mainpage of blogspot.com, and it offered me a blog, so I accepted!!! :) I have met a whole lot of FABULOUS people, got several blogs I read daily (my blogroll is going to get a lot longer, as soon as I get off my lazy butt and put some new links in!!).

You will soon discover, I am a BIG procrastinator, despite the major stress it causes me-- why? I have NO idea. I DO know that when I was an English major in college and had 10-page papers due (pre-computers, so this involved MANY all nighters retyping entire pages for one minor problem!), I rarely started the papers any more than 2 days before they were due-- I would SWEAR I would, I would get the materials, and they would sit there..... and I told myself I was 'germinating' the ideas in my mind. Which I think I actually do, to a great extent. I CANNOT outline. I have to just sit down and type... which leads to lots of editing, like moving a paragraph, rewriting a sentence-- THANK GOD FOR COMPUTERS!!!! Which made that possible!!! I guess I just work better under deadline pressure.

I am a part of the 365 project-- it's MUCH harder than it seems, and I have been tragically neglectful of my responsibilities in that regard, but I will catch up, I promise!!

I also urge you to read about The Long Walk, and follow along-- donate if you can! I got to know about this through The Great Interview Experiment, which was a lot of fun!!!

Set a spell, take your shoes off, make yourself to home! (And pay no attention to the undone laundry, the floor that needs to be mopped or the unmade beds!). Oh, and leave me a comment, question, or whatever tickles your fancy!!

And, head over to 5MinutesforMom's Ultimate Party Blog for more great blogs to read and comment on, and some great prizes you can win, whether you blog or not!

Yikes!!!

2008-02-28T15:29:00.001-08:00

I have realized several things... I am WAY slacking on my 365 entries-- I will do some tonight to ease the guilt.

I have also been asked what "Break a leg" means in the theatre. Basically, we theatre-folk are VERY superstitious. You will find that most of us have certain rituals we MUST do before a show, certain things we WON'T do before a show, and one of the biggest 'no-nos' is to wish someone 'good luck' before a show. You can wish them a 'good show,' but NEVER good luck. If you do, it is widely believed that BAD luck will ensue. Thus, if you tell someone to 'break a leg' (something bad), something good will happen!

Hey, we're the same people who believe, 'bad tech, good open,' and 'NEVER, EVER say the name of 'The Scottish Play' inside a theatre. :)

My friend who lost her kitty recently has 'been adopted,' and we are all so happy!! A friend of hers got a kitten, but their dog didn't take too well to it, so the husband said the kitten had to go. If someone didn't take it, she would have had to take it to a shelter, and you KNOW L. wouldn't let THAT happen!! She sounds SO much cheerier and happier-- and is even talking about going to the shelter and getting A. a playmate! :) A. seems to be a bit of a lap cat, which couldn't be better for her!!!!!!

Okay, off to do some writing for the 365 project (it is MUCH harder than it appears!!!!!)

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

2008-02-21T16:38:00.000-08:00

When is February going to END? It has never been my favorite month (in fact, I'd be more than happy to just skip it!)... the only good thing about it is that it's usually short... but this year, it even has an extra day!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

And, tonight, more February weather-- snow and then a lovely ice coating on top of it. YUCK!

Well, maybe we'll get a day off, and I'll get to sleep in tomorrow (and actually get the house in some sort of shape!).

Meanwhile, I went after work today to the local professional theatre. I'm going to be a volunteer there (you get to see the shows for free, and it sounds like a LOT of fun!)... I'm also hoping that when they have their auditions for the next season, I'll have a bit of an 'in' to get an audition.... I can only hope! At the very least, I'll have some fun! :)

The Anniversary

2008-02-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

Ten years. Ten long years since the last time you said, "Be good, girls." Who could have EVER thought that saying good-bye to you that Christmas would be the last time? I have always been grateful that, as always, the last thing I said to you was "I love you."

Burying you on President's Day weekend, on Mother's birthday (and no-one else seemed to even realize, which made me even more sad). Everyone so sick with the same virus. Eleanor refused to even come, she was 'so sick.' To her OWN FATHER'S FUNERAL.

The last time all of us 'girls' were together. Guess you would have liked that.

Spending the night with Grandmother so she wouldn't be alone. She seemed so lost, crying that you weren't there. And I have to agree-- it surely didn't look like you. And while that was actually comforting for me (it brought home the reality that you weren't here anymore-- that was just a shell that you no longer needed), it was heartbreaking for her.

Linda even came. Didn't know it until afterwards when I saw the guest registry, but at least she was there to say good-bye to you. I know neither of you understood their actions, and how much they hurt you. I hope you somehow can understand how hard it was for her....

Amazing Grace, Uncle Arthur's lovely speech. They made a tape of it for Grandmother... I wonder where it is now; I'm sure she never listened to it.

You may have been gone, but your presence and your spirit hung around for a few years. That was nice-- imagining you up there with Fluffy running around (she always loved you, and you loved her, too, although you'd never admit it! Any more than you'd admit to watching 'Days,' although you always made sure to be 'wandering' through the room when Grandmother and I were watching it!).

Even sadder than this weekend was the day Grandmother died.... you came to two of us in a dream, and you said good-bye. You'd been waiting for her; I knew it. You were together again, as you were meant to be.... but it was also a final good-bye, as both of us watched you walk away arm in arm.... and felt your presence disappear as your waiting was rewarded.... now it was time to move on.

We miss you. Your 'girls' think of you often and always try to 'be good.' Hoping you would be proud of us-- the closest thing to a father any of us ever had.

We love you, Grandaddy... miss you more than words can say... and will always have the wonderful memories you left us with.

Love,

Your Favorite Granddaughter ;)

Happy Birthday, Muv!!! :)

2008-02-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

Another year, still here. Every day is a gift.

Happy, HAPPY Birthday!!!!

Hope you enjoy your present. :)

It's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

The writer's strike is OVER!! They're going back to work and we are likely to get a decent deal when our turn comes up. That makes me VERY happy!!!

And as a viewer, I WANT NEW SHOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They say TV viewing is at its highest level in quite a while, but I have a hard time believing it.... there's NOTHING ON. They say some of the high-profile shows (the established ones) will be back by March, some others by April. Several of those had scripts and filming in various stages when the strike was called, so they can pick right back up. Some had NOTHING ready, so they are starting from scratch. And some shows won't be coming back, unfortunately, like Journeyman.

And casting will begin again... perhaps. It looks like another casualty of the strike may just be pilot season. The studios are beginning to wonder: 1) why they order 13 episodes at a time; 2) why they need to pay all that money for pilots to decide what they're going to order; and, 3) why they don't just do what they do with reality shows and what they do in the UK, which is to buy on spec, but buy fewer episodes.

A 'series' (season) of a show in the UK is 6 episodes. This allows a lot of actors to do film, stage and television, or several series simultaneously. Thus, they would be bringing on new series all through the year, and not just in the fall and possibly in January. Thus, no need for a 'pilot season' or 'pilots' at all.

Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. It's a great way to get seen, and it provides a lot of jobs.

AND, as a viewer, that was something that REALLY annoyed me when living in England, and even watching BBC America. A show would be on, and then suddenly, *poof* gone.. OR, you hear about a show and by the time you do, it's finished.

But, whatever happens, "who can say if it's been changed for the better, but.... it has been changed for good."

The landscape of television, I think, will never be the same.

The Potomac Primary

2008-02-13T15:49:00.000-08:00

Well, the voting is over-- for us, anyway. Despite the very bad weather, a large number of people voted. ESPECIALLY for a primary. I did go vote, though the weather was bad. We DID get to leave school a LITTLE early, and I went to vote immediately.... and was told that I was in the wrong place. What? I've been coming here for five years! Yes, well, apparently they changed some polling places-- I guess there have been a lot of people moving into the area, so they needed a second polling place. So, off I go-- it wasn't all that far away, so that was good. The thing that bothered me when I went in to vote (aside from the fact that there are just these little stands with small sides, no real privacy at all) was that there was a sign as you go in that says, "No children under the age of 12 will be allowed into the voting booths."

WHAT? First, only children 12 and over need to understand about voting? I remember going with my mom from the time I was little; it was an adventure, and she'd let me pull the lever to cast the vote after she'd made her selections. And, second, what about parents who don't have anyone to watch their child while they vote? They don't deserve to vote? That upset me.

ANYWAY, voting went well, no major lines, actually-- despite the fact that turnout was high.

However, today people are asking why Hillary and Huckabee don't just quit. Um, excuse me? I could SORT of see it with Huckabee; after all, he is over 500 delegates behind. But, even so, he has obviously touched a nerve with the ultra-right neo-cons, and has the ability at this point to have a very important voice at the RNC, so why would he quit? Not to mention, he seems to be angling for VP, though he says he isn't.

And, as for Hillary, she and Obama are within a VERY few delegates of each other. Why would ANYONE even THINK of asking why she doesn't quit? Did people ask Obama why HE didn't quit when he was several delegates behind (but still relatively close?). No, because it wouldn't have made sense. And it doesn't make sense here, either. We still have more than 1/4 of the primaries to go, and some very large, important states still. I can't imagine why anyone who is still in it would get out now. Even Giuliani didn't quit, he just suspended his campaign.

Supposedly, it is to allow 'unification' of the parties, so they can get behind a candidate and begin to think about November and a VP candidate. In my opinion, it's still way too early to even think about those things. We are looking at a possibly brokered convention on the Democrat side, and even possibly on the Republican side, if McCain doesn't get the required number of delegates. Which IS possible, because a LOT of Republicans are refusing to vote for him.

And that could cause some MAJOR problems if he is the candidate in November. There are lots of people who are saying they will either just stay home or vote for Hillary/Barack.

It's going to be a LONG 9 months!!!!!!

Likeability

2008-02-08T16:40:00.001-08:00

I was listening to the radio on the way home from work today and again heard this claim that in presidential campaigns, the most 'likable' candidate wins. I've heard this before. I've even heard this about Hitler. How he was charming and had charisma in person. I have never seen it in any of the films I've seen of him-- in all of them, he looks to me like a madman, out of control. His eyes were some of the darkest I've ever seen, showing the deep mental illness that was there.

I wanted to ask "WHAT is your definition of likable?" since it was implied that (except for Ford/Cater, who were both likable, but Ford pardoned Nixon), the most likable candidate has always won... and that somehow, McCain is more likable than Hillary, but Barack is more likable than McCain. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to.... so I decided to do some research into what most people consider the definition of 'likable.'

'Charisma' is one definition of likability. Part of that is 'making one feel good about him/herself when in your presence.' Or evoking sympathy or empathy. Or agreeable.

Now, all of these make sense. To me, someone who is likable is sympathetic or empathetic him/herself. I really truly believe that the eyes are the window to the soul, and to be likable to me, a person needs to have something in their eyes that tells me there's a 'there' there. That there's some depth and that there is genuine interest in and concern for others. However, by this definition, George Bush, Ronald Reagan and John McCain are NOT likable in the least.

I've even found one definition (of course, in sales) that talks about 'likability' as being chameleon-like, flexible enough to change your personality to suit the client/customer. That, to me, is the ANTITHESIS of likability. Manipulating people by pretending to be something you're not is NOT the way to my heart (although, I guess it IS the way to a lot of people's pocketbooks).

Is it someone I'd like to 'have a beer with?' Yeah, I guess. Someone I'd like to spend time with. But, I've been thinking a lot about it over the last few hours and the most important criteria for likability for me is HONESTY. I have to be able to look into your eyes and see that you mean what you say, that you are being honest, open and, actually, vulnerable.

Now, vulnerability is a kind of difficult thing. It is, in fact, the part of film acting that I have the most problem with. The reason is that I have done so much stage acting, which, of necessity, has to be bigger and broader. And, as such, is often not as honest or vulnerable. Emotions and movements, and even your speech, often have to be exaggerated to 'read.'

On the other hand, the camera is about as intimate as it gets. You can whisper and be heard, you can raise an eyebrow slightly or turn your head a fraction of an inch, and speak volumes. The camera sees EVERYTHING.... and that includes deeply into your eyes. It sees either truth or deception there. It sees your past there. It sees YOU. You are honestly not playing a character so much as YOURSELF in that situation, which is quite a bit different than onstage, often. And you have to be WILLING to not really hide behind a character, which you can do on stage. You have to be WILLING to allow people to SEE into your eyes-- to SEE into your soul in a way which is impossible on stage. To open yourself up to the ultimate intimacy and vulnerability.

THAT, to me, is and always has been, likability. It is why I like watching Julia Roberts-- she is vulnerability personified. It is why I ADORE Dame Judi and Helen Mirren... and Kate Hepburn. It is why I always, always, ALWAYS look into the eyes.

Now, by MY definition, the more likable candidate has NOT won the presidential election many times. I have NEVER understood what people mean when they keep saying that George Bush and Ronald Reagan are/were 'likable.' Ronald Reagan was a bad actor reading a script badly. I could see from the beginning that he didn't believe what he was saying.... and by the second term, I KNEW something was seriously wrong, though I didn't know what it was. I could see that he didn't even UNDERSTAND what he was saying-- and it gave me shivers when I saw two photos during his second term: one of him from just prior to his first inauguration-- vital, healthy, riding his horse, and the other a contemporary one in which he looked very ill to me. The change was SHOCKING, and not the typical aging, either. I was not surprised to hear he had Alzheimer's. The eyes told the tale-- there wasn't anything in there, especially by the second term. Before that, there was a wall. One behind which he hid himself (maybe to protect himself from people knowing what he MUST have been starting to sense? That something was wrong? I don't know). He never let us get to know the real Ronald Reagan. Only the 'character' he wanted us to see-- and he was playing a character.

As for Bush, I could feel the insincerity rolling off of him in waves the first time I heard him speak, when I didn't even know who he was. I looked into his eyes and saw-- nothing. Just hearing his voice makes me feel slimy and like I need to take a shower. I would NOT want to 'have a beer' with this man-- I'd be too worried he'd stab me in the back. I see no sincerity, no empathy at all. Looking into his eyes, I don't see that he RECOGNIZES other people outside of his close inner circle as even EXISTING... and some of his statements (like the 'reality-based' stuff and the 'decider' nonsense) only corroborate it. I don't feel that I have been given the opportunity to know the real George Bush in any way-- and it makes me wonder if he's hiding it or if it just doesn't exist. I don't see the wall as I did with Reagan... I simply see... nothing.

I guess I do have to admit that politicians are salespeople and by the 'sales' definition-- being chameleon-like and flexible to suit the personality of the client-- it may be true that both of the above men were likable. The problem with that is that the entire definition feels dishonest and just plain ICKY to me. I don't WANT to be around someone who changes who HE is to suit the people around him. I want to be with people who are willing to share and whom I can trust and feel that I know. Honesty , trust and reliability are high on my priority list.

I just read an article the other day that described the 'perfect wife.' This was supposed to be a woman who cleaned up after her children without complaining, who cooked the foods her husband likes and 'learns to like them, too.' Who 'treasures' his snoring or taking the covers off, and feels grateful to pick up his clothes. Who smiles when he works late because he's 'willing to provide for the family.' Who laughs at his jokes, even when they're not funny.

My biggest problem (aside from not raising independent, capable, ready-to-be-adult children) with this definition of the 'perfect wife' was the fact that the 'perfect wife' in this scenario was NOT being honest with herself OR with her family. And PARTICULARLY not her husband.

How can you have a relationship, ANY kind of relationship, without honesty? And that goes for my president, as well. I may not be in the same room, but when I listen and watch him/her talk to me, I want to see that it is real and honest and TRUTHFUL.

And that seems to be my problem with the definitions of 'likability' that I've found... none of them involve truth, REAL intimacy, or honesty. And by those definitions, many of the presidents we've had in the recent past were NOT likable. And those who were seem to have been the least successful.

It is, in fact, one of the definitions of a sociopath-- someone who can change to suit the circumstances, can 'blend in' and present a facade of emotions to the world, but doesn't actually feel or understand them; one who cannot empathize with other people. And THAT scares me in a leader.

Thirty years?????????????????????????

2008-02-07T16:22:00.000-08:00

Do you remember where you were 30 years ago this January and February?

I surely do!!!

We had driven down to Florida to visit my Grandmother and Grandaddy for Christmas. We had a WONDERFUL time. I remember that Mom bought us a Rubik's Cube.... and refused to let us open it in the car because she was afraid we'd have it solved in a couple of minutes! Actually, I never DID solve it until I got a solution book, and then could only ever do it WITH the book. They say that Will Smith learned to finish it in under 2 minutes for his film "Pursuit of Happyness" (an AMAZING movie, by the way!); I was never able to do that, and came close to BREAKING it a couple of times, I was so frustrated!

But, I digress....

On our way back from Florida, the car broke down. My memory is kind of hazy at this point, but I believe it was the radiator. Anyway, they couldn't fix it for a day or so, so we spent the night in a motel, and went to see the movie "Turning Point." I believe that was the last movie we went to see as a 'family.' My mom, even then, had trouble sitting in the seats at a theatre because of her back.

So, the next day, quite a bit poorer but with wheels, we trekked on home. It was supposed to have been the first day back at school-- well, it WAS, for everyone else. We didn't get back until late that evening, so no school for us.

That night, it started snowing. And snowing. And snowing. Now, you know that this is Kentucky. In 1994, our INTERSTATES were closed for a WEEK by 17" of snow, and abandoned TRUCKS abounded. Our motto is, "God put it there, God'll take it away (when He's of a mind to)." So, no school.

Then on the 15th, we got MORE snow. And then on the 25th came the 'Blizzard of 1978." It just seemed to NEVER stop. And STILL no school.

We lived on the top of a VERY steep hill. GREAT for sledding, but impossible to get a car up or down with snow or ice. Mom, being a nurse, had to go to work, even if we didn't go to school. Being without an available car, she went out the back kitchen door, down the steps, through the yard and the field behind it, slogging through drifts up to her waist or higher, in some places. Her boots weren't that tall, so her feet must have been FROZEN and SOAKED by the time she got to the road.

Every morning. To the main road about 1/4 mile away. Which was open. To ride the bus. And back again. Every night. In the dark. Through waist-deep or higher drifts. And close to 0-degree temps. With grocery bags almost every night, because she could only carry two bags through that. For almost a month, she did this.

She? Is my hero. For many reasons, but this is a BIG one. It's the best example of, "It needed doing, so I did it."

I also remember finally going BACK to school. They extended the school day more than an hour (2? I can't remember). We were REQUIRED to bring a snack, because we didn't get lunch until 1pm. This went on for most of the school year. Which was ALSO extended quite a bit. We had a LOT to make up. TWENTY days (or maybe a bit more).... 120 hours.

I really didn't realize until I started hearing about the anniversary just how BIG this storm was, and that it affected the ENTIRE Eastern half of the country. I had no idea just how HUGE it was. I always wondered if I'd kind of 'exaggerated' it my mind the way a kid's memory sometimes does. But, nope. I also thought it was much more localized than it was. I thought it only affected our state and maybe Indiana and Ohio. But, no-- this was, and is still considered, The TRUE Storm of the Century. May we never see another like it.

We actually had quite a bit of fun, because we got to stay nice and warm and got to go outside to play when we wanted.... but, as I keep telling my kids now, snow days can be fun, but you WON'T be happy going until the end of June to make them up!!! Thank God we had power (a LOT of people didn't), and Mom was able to get groceries-- she said today that she was LUCKY there was a grocery on the corner of that major road. She had to carry them 1/4 mile, but at least she was able to GET food for us. If it hadn't been there, she would have had no way to get food without a car.

So... where were YOU when the blizzard of '78 hit?

Tsunami Tuesday!

2008-02-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

Well, this is it. Half of the country is voting today. I really don't understand why they don't just come together and decide on a date for a national primary. We have national general elections, don't we? Especially with the race to be the 'first,' which led to two states having at least some of their delegates taken away because only CERTAIN states are allowed to hold primaries/caucuses before Feb. 5. Which makes no sense to me. And what also makes no sense to me is why those two states thought it was SO important to hold their primaries BEFORE today that they were willing to GIVE UP those delegates. What, really, was the difference in voting two weeks ago and voting today? Really? Did their votes cont more? (No, actually LESS, unless the parties change their minds and decide to seat those delegates anyway). Would they have had LESS of a voice if they'd had their primaries today? No, not as far as I can see.

Since it looks like the Republican candidate may be pretty much decided today, I'm following the results carefully... and I am very interested to see how the delegate splits shake out for the Democrats... although that won't be known for a while, it seems. They have to do the district-by-district counts for that.

Today will definitely tell us a lot, though!

"If you live in a Super Tuesday state, come out and help choose a president!"

WHY????????????

2008-02-04T16:39:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many of you have followed this, but the Westboro Baptist 'Church' (and I use the term church VERY loosely), which is composed of Fred Phelps and his family, has made a habit of protesting outside of funerals. They started with 'known' homosexuals and progressed to our returning soldiers. They yell, scream obscenities, say and have placards reading such things as "Thank God for dead soldiers," etc. Can they go any lower? Well, yes, yes they can.

A family was killed over Christmas in Ohio by a drunk driver. FIVE members of the family were killed, including four children and their mother. The WBC decided, instead of maybe picketing and protesting the COURT APPEARANCE of the DRUNK DRIVER, that it would be more moral to protest and picket the funeral of those CHILDREN and their MOTHER.

If you don't know the full evil that is these people, google WBC and go to their website. I refuse to put it on my blog, but you can find it easily. Just seriously BEWARE, because you will be assaulted by evil. In fact, according to them, all lawyers are going to Hell, even though most of them ARE lawyers... ???? Yet, they are the only ones who know the truth that God HATES. And their purpose is to spread that message-- yes, God hates YOU, no matter who you are.

Anyway, FINALLY the family of a service member sued them, for defamation and libel for what they said, and for interrupting their son's funeral. And they won. $11m. HALLELUJAH! And were determined to bankrupt the church to get the money-- hopefully to shut them down and gain ownership of the property.

However, the judge today reduced the award-- cut it in HALF. $5m will NOT bankrupt these people, it won't even put a DENT in what they do. I am absolutely disgusted and appalled at this judge. I guess our only hope for justice is for other families to sue them as well, and win. Perhaps MULTIPLE judgments will do the trick.

WBC is also still appealing the verdict. I hope and pray that THAT does not get overturned. $5m is at least SOMETHING and it says to everyone (except, apparently, THEM) that they do NOT have the right to do this to other human beings.

The Long Walk

2008-02-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, I joined The Great Interview Experiment at http://www.citizenofthemonth.com. I encourage everyone to go sign up, it was a lot of fun. Basically, you sign up and the person before you interviews you and you interview the person after you. The person I interviewed was Dan at

http://allthatcomeswithit.com

I had a wonderful time (more about that later), but I wanted to add this from his blog.....

As many of you already know, this July I will be walking the the 78 mile long Dales Way footpath. Yes, 78 miles. In six days. And what’s more it was my own idea. Many are predicting it will be the end of me.

I am doing the walk in aid of The Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity set up by our close friends Neil and Rachel in memorial of their son Joseph. In April of 2005 three year old Joseph died suddenly in his sleep. Here is Rachel talking about it in the comments section of this blog:

Hi, this is Joseph’s mummy here. First Dan, I’d like to say a big thank you for what you’re planning on doing. When Neil sent me the link yesterday I was in tears. The bit about coming home to Joseph’s toys as we left them…well, I can’t describe the pain. And it’s still with us. We miss Joseph every day. He was our first child, he was a little smasher, and he turned Neil and I into - hopefully - better people because of who he was. We will always be proud to be his parents.

In answer to your question Whit, Joseph died from streptococcal pneumonia. It’s very rare and it took him, although suddenly, very peacefully. When I went in to him in the morning it was obvious from his posture that he’d just gone into a deeper and deeper sleep and never knew anything about it. This too is what all the medical personnel associated with him told us. There are not many (if any) consolations when you lose a child, but at least he didn’t suffer. And as a parent, it’s one of the things you want most for your child isn’t it? 

So Dan, and everyone who’s going to join you - good luck and thank you.
_{From the comments section of A Prelude to an Announcement. October 22, 2007}

The Joseph Salmon Trust supports parents who have lost a child by providing financial assistance to those who need it most. This may be to help with funeral costs or to allow the self employed a break from work while they come to terms with their loss. Grieving families have enough to deal with without worries about where they will find the money to say goodbye to their child or pay the next electricity bill. Nothing we can do can make their situation better, but we can do something to stop it getting worse.

And this is where you come in. Today marks the official start of the fundraising of the walk and I’m looking for donations. Any amount, no matter how small will go towards making a big difference to somebody in the darkest hours of their torment. When you donate you will receive (if you want one) a link on the roll of honor both here and on the Dales Walk blog. You also get the right to place one of these magnificent badges (designed by the delightful Mr Oli Walker) on your website or blog. You can either right click and save the picture from here, or I can email you the html code to insert into your blog.

In addition, if you could find the time to write own short post about the walk, or just copy and paste this one and put it on your blog, I would be eternally grateful. The more promotion the event gets the more money we are likely to raise.

Please, please, PLEASE, if you have a moment, go to the blog and check out the work they're doing, and follow the walk, and give a few pennies if you've got them. I can't imagine the pain involved in losing a child (and I never want to have to find out), and to give them at least this small comfort seems about the only way to really ease the journey at all.

Elections

2008-02-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, I haven't said much about the elections, but I have been following the elections very closely.

Now, I cannot STAND George Bush. He is a lying, scheming, snakeoil salesman. Which gives me a huge problem with John McCain.... he of the "I'd be happy to have soldiers in Iraq for the next 100 years, and so would the American people." Um, not THIS American person! He talked about how we still have soldiers in Germany and Japan, and South Korea. And how this is okay. Well, IMO, it's actually NOT okay. I don't see any of the Republican candidates except Ron Paul who would NOT simply carry on the absolutely disastrous road down which Bush has taken us the last 7 years.

Which leads me to the Democratic debate last week. I have to say, I'm glad the fields on both sides have been whittled down-- it was just mindnumbing watching 9 people trying to get their comments in.

I thought the Democratic debate between Hillary and Barak was amazingly well-done. I liked the way they focused not so much on their differences with each other, but their differences with George Bush and the Republican candidates. I first saw Barak Obama when he spoke at the Democrat Convention, and I was enthralled. He was one of the most powerful speakers I had ever heard. And I think he still is.

However, vague, general, uplifting rhetoric doesn't tell me much. I have yet to hear any specifics about how he would get us to the point he keeps telling us we'll reach. I thought he had a very rough start at the debate, and was very unsure of himself... and, hey, I DEFINITELY understand how intimidating such a situation can be, especially when there are now only two-- the focus cannot be deflected. And I thought he found his footing, and became more sure of himself as the debate went on. I STILL didn't hear any specifics from him, however.

I thought Hillary was strong right out of the box. She was prepared, she detailed her past experience with clarity and thought towards the relevance of it. Much of which I had never heard about before. Unfortunately, when the word 'experience' comes up, most people tend to ask, "How does being First Lady give her experience?" I think they totally neglect her experience and success as an attorney, the fact that she is on two of the most powerful committees in the Senate, including the Armed Services Committee, the almost universal praise for her work in the Senate from colleagues on both sides of the aisle, and her other work over the last 35 years. Now, as for her time in the White House, no, she wasn't in charge, but it DID give her an opportunity to see first-hand what the job entails, how things work, what's necessary, and to develop rapport and relationships with foreign leaders. I think it has greatly informed her foreign policy, an area in which Barak seems to be lacking.

She was calm, confident, professional, and clear. She explained things about some of her votes that most people outside of Congress wouldn't likely know... and Barak continued to claim he'd been against the war from the beginning. Something which has demonstrably been proven not to be true. He focuses on the fact that she voted for the resolution, without including the fact that ALL of us, INCLUDING members of Congress, were LIED to and manipulated to GET that resolution passed. Barak's response was, "I think it's more important to be RIGHT from Day 1." Yet, he himself said that he didn't know how he would have voted. I have a problem with that.

Considering the options, I will most likely vote for whomever is the Democrat nominee; frankly, I don't know if it will happen, but I'd love to see a Clinton/Obama ticket. I would love to see him in the VP debates, and see what he can do 8 years from now, after he's really been involved. I think he could be an EXCELLENT president with a little 'seasoning,' but not right now.

And, frankly, I've had enough of people complaining that Bill would be 'involved,' and 'making phone calls.' Firstly, I don't believe that will be necessary. But if it is? Why NOT????? Anybody really think that GWB, who surrounded himself with his father's advisers (who proved failures the FIRST time around, but that's another issue) hasn't asked Daddy for help? There aren't a whole lot of people who HAVE the experience of being president, and the connections that provides-- what is wrong with using their expertise? Why is that a bad thing?

And, I"m frankly tired of her being called 'cold, heartless and ruthless' when she has done nothing that any male candidate hasn't done. Have ANY of the men been called such things? Of course not. And it happens ALL THE TIME. A man is 'ambitious' and 'aggressive.' A woman is 'cold' and 'a bitch.' And those SAME PEOPLE, when she dared to show a little emotion, suddenly called her 'weak' and 'manipulative,' and blew it WAY out of proportion. To the point that when I actually SAW the video, I wondered if I was missing something. I heard it called a 'sobfect,' a 'breakdown,' and other such ridiculous things-- she most CERTAINLY didn't have a breakdown, nor did she go on a crying jag. She didn't even actually CRY, she simply choked up and teared up a bit when talking about our country's future, which is obviously very important to her. I have to admit, I've done the same thing, on more than one occasion, thinking about what has happened to our country over the last 7 years.

Then we have 'decolletege-gate.' AGAIN, when I heard about it and then saw the video, I thought I MUST have missed something. What she was wearing was an attractive, professional suit, which didn't even really SHOW any cleavage; maybe, perhaps, the hint of it.... would any man have DAYS spent on his attire like that? With the REASON she was on the Senate floor (which was an important one), being ignored? I seriously doubt it. Does anyone even remember what she was talking about? Probably not (the cost of higher education). Does this happen to men? Of course not. Yet THIS was compared to a man coming on the floor with his FLY UNZIPPED. As if it was somehow indecent. Women wear more 'revealing' outfits in offices all over this country, and as someone else pointed out, IN CHURCH. And, up until this point, she had been criticized for her 'man suits.'

Meanwhile, with regard to Barak, I STILL hear people spreading the gossip that he was raised Muslim, that he IS Muslim, that he swore in as a Senator on the Q'uran (NONE of which is true), and that it would be an insult to our military to elect someone with the name Obama. HUH????????? And people such as that Shari person on The View (who has to be the dumbest adult woman I've ever heard of), spread this further on national television, and when called on it, simply said she had 'heard people say it.' OMG! I'm beginning to wonder if there shouldn't be a basic intelligence test in order to be able to vote! (No, not really, but sometimes I wonder if we REALLY want people who make their decisions/judgements this way deciding who our leaders are? Look what we got when we had people basing their decision on 'He MUST be perfect. He's a Christian.').

We need change-- change from the last 7 years. IMO, either of the Democrat candidates will provide that, none of the Republicans (except Ron Paul) will. My decision between the two of them has nothing to do with the 'race' card or the 'woman' card. It has to do with their records, their plans and their qualifications to be a leader.

Blah........

2008-01-31T16:25:00.000-08:00

This week has just been basically boring. We had an all-day meeting yesterday (where we were given a TON of new paperwork and requirements, as usual)... we have several new teachers, and if I'm overwhelmed, I can't IMAGINE what they're thinking!!

And then last night was parent conferences. Which actually went VERY well. A good 2/3 of my parent showed up, so I was VERY happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, I left my digital camera in my sis's car at Christmas time, and she is now 'holding it hostage,' until I come visit for dinner!!!! ;) Tried to tell her I'd come this weekend, but haven't heard from her, so we'll see what happens.

Meanwhile, the sleep place wants me to come BACK for the 'second part of the test.' ARGH!!!!

Between this and the weather (we're supposed to have ICE overnight tonight and all morning tomorrow!!), this is just a very blah week.... November and February are my least favourite months of the year, and February started a few days early this year! PLUS it's a leap year-- the only GOOD thing about it always was that it was a SHORT month, and we got March and spring to look forward to-- now, we have an EXTRA day of it. Yuck!

To sleep, perchance to.....

2008-01-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

Uh, no... not so much.

Went to have a sleep study last night. This was THE most uncomfortable, sleepless night I've spent in a LONG time. I don't EVER want to have to do it again!

They were supposed to have sent me some information (um, like, DIRECTIONS?!) before-hand. They did not, though I waited until yesterday afternoon! Tried to call, got no answer. So I spent over an hour trying to access their website, which didn't want to load. Finally, at least got the address!

The technician was alright. Wanted to take 'mug shots' which he promised would NOT end up on AMW! Then I had to fill out the 27 (!) page questionnaire. ACK!!!

There was a tv in each room, although why, I don't know, because as soon as he spent 45 minutes hooking me up to over 20 electrodes (all over your head, on your legs, one on your neck for snoring and two for the EKG), and putting the two belts on (do not ask me what those are for!) and putting TWO things in your nostrils to 'measure air flow' (Air flow? WHAT air flow? With those two humongous things in my nostrils, there's no ROOM for air!) AND the pulse ox meter, I got in bed, and they immediately turned it off.

Then they had to calibrate it which was kind of interesting-- asking you to do all sorts of things so they could measure and see if it was working.

At that point, I got to listen to ALL SORTS of noises as I tried to find SOME way to get comfortable. Between the light from the bathroom and the light from the heater, and the pulse ox meter that wasn't long enough and tried to strangle me, and the leg leads which tried to strangle my legs each time I moved, there weren't that many comfortable ways to lay. And since there was no radio to drown out the other noises, every time I did try to doze off, I'd hear something and be instantly awake. And since my nose was currently blocked, it was an adventure to try to breathe! Makes for a very restful sleep, no?

And, frankly, knowing that some stranger was watching me sleep was just... well.... creepy. I couldn't get that thought out of my mind. Like someone breaking into your room and standing over you watching you... just CREEPY.

I spent most of the night in that REALLY uncomfortable state between sleeping and waking.... and wondering WHEN someone was going to come in and tell me I could get up! However, since there was no CLOCK in the room, either, I had no way of telling what time it was or how much longer I was going to have to wait. When I heard someone's alarm clock, I knew I didn't have TOO much longer to wait.

Finally, FINALLY, the guy called me and told me I could get up-- first, we had to recalibrate, which meant going through all of the same stuff... look left, look right, blink, move your left leg...

I don't know what kind of tape he used, but OMG, when he pulled the tapes off, it HURT. OUCH!! But, finally, I was free. And had to answer a questionnaire before I could go, the first question of which was, "How many hours and minutes of sleep did you get?" Well, how the heck am I supposed to know, since you wouldn't give me a CLOCK?! SHEESH! And no dreams that I remember at all, which tells you how little real sleep I got.

He DID tell me I'd been awake since 4:45 (which meant I'd had to lay there for an HOUR before he finally freed me), and I guess I actually got about 4-5 hours, sort of. And was actually SHOCKED that I had woken up that early-- um, I normally have to get up at 5:30 (which he ALSO seemed unable to believe), so why would that be unusual when I'm so uncomfortable? But, um, yeah, if I want to get to work by 7:30, I have to be up by 5:30, since it takes at LEAST an hour to get to work from here. More, often, with traffic.

They had pastries and fruit and coffee, but I really honestly just wanted to get out of there. So I came home, and got a few hours of REAL sleep. And had to force myself to get out of bed at 10.

I surely hope I don't have to do this again!!!!!!!! But at least it's done. Thank goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

26/365 -- Crazy Guy

2008-01-23T15:44:00.000-08:00

Worry about the quiet ones!! 4am, favorite time. "Walking on my ceiling," breaking cars, blowing up the University. Not enough 'evidence' for psychiatric care. Schizophrenic, off meds. Talking CONSTANTLY. Stuck in a basement apartment, carpet over the window. Scariest person, also saddest.

25/365 -- Traci G.

2008-01-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

Two Cancers, separated at birth!!!! HOURS on the phone, telling of the same childhood. Sensitive, trusting (TOO trusting!), intelligent, creative! Boston (and Emily the incredible!), driving all night back from the Premiere. Fog, detours, the girls laughing at us! SISTERS!

24/365 -- Annie

2008-01-23T15:27:00.001-08:00

Husbands-- the SBC. Without them, we would never have met!! Talented, kind, generous, thoughtful, giving. Second strongest woman I know. Polar Bear Plunge-- better you than me! Sandy's house, drive to Jersey-- NEVER take the GSP on a Saturday in July!!!

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

2008-01-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm from Kentucky. I don't DO cold. I ESPECIALLY do not do SINGLE-DIGIT cold! Someone PLEASE take me out of the freezer!!!!!!

OMG, I could feel the cold coming through the windows! Now, yes, I know that this means the windows and the insulation suck and need to be replaced (and they're about 10th on the list!), but STILL!! And the poor little heat pump had no heat to pump!!!! No going outside Saturday or Sunday-- TOO BLOODY COLD! Had to go out yesterday to do things like get FOOD, little things like that. At least it had warmed up a LITTLE.

Then, today, having to go back after a 3-day weekend was SO painful. And I was informed that TODAY I was going to be observed. (ACK!). .... come to find out when I got to work, the heat had gone out. They had had it fixed, but after 3 days of single-digit lows, my room? Which is usually 85 degrees? And has no windows? Was probably about 50. BRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Usually, I wear short sleeves because otherwise I would literally burn up!!!! I did not today because it was just TOO cold outside-- and thank goodness, or I'd be sick again already.

It didn't start to warm up until the end of the school day on that side of the building, so I ended up in the cafeteria with three other classes, trying to teach, and constantly saying, "Oh, I forgot to bring......." ARGH! Welcome to the week! It actually went pretty well, considering... and I think the observation went well... my two are the hardest to handle (not behavior-wise, but academics-wise) were absent. Which made getting through the less a bit smoother. Those two are my favorite kids, but they do require more attention and often redirection/help, which impedes the flow of the lesson. So, although I want them there every other day, it was nice to be able to have the lesson flow with observers there.

And, I didn't realize how cold I was until I walked into the cafeteria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, it was nice and warm in there! :) If a bit noisy! Although I have to say that the kids did a very nice job dealing with that, and by after lunch, there were only two of us there (the building on the side closest to the cafeteria had started warming up more quickly), and then that wasn't an issue.

A light at the end of the tunnel........

2008-01-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

...but is it the end of the tunnel or is it a train?

There IS some good news (we THINK!) for the first time since the strike started. We were all worried about the DGA and what kind of deal they'd make. If it's a bad one, then there will be more pressure on the WGA and SAG to agree to similar deals, and the DGA has a history of caving BIG time to the studios. This time, it appears they MIGHT not have.

From what we KNOW (which, granted, is not a lot), it looks like it might be fairly decent. Two BIG things they've gotten is jurisdiction over (at least some) internet original material and a much higher residual on electronic streaming/downloads. There may be restrictions which make it worthless, but we'll have to see, and it's still not what the writers asked for, but the studios seem to have granted the directors concessions they REFUSED to give the writers (and, in fact, WALKED OUT of negotiations rather than even DISCUSS).

The biggest of these is basing payments on distributor's gross. That is a LOT more than producers gross (after they deduct their 'expenses,' which basically means what they CHOOSE to allow).

My question is WHY would they absolutely REFUSE to even DISCUSS these things with the writers, but give them to the directors?

My guess is that this strike has had a much larger effect on the studios than they're willing to admit. They tried to make everyone believe that they had material AT LEAST until the beginning of the year, when they didn't. They didn't bank on the film side being so heavily affected so quickly, nor that they would run out of television scripts so quickly. The reruns they've been reduced to showing have been doing MISERABLY in the ratings, and in another two weeks, it's going to be Sweeps weeks, when their advertising rates are going to be set.... and they cannot afford to lose the money they will lose if they are showing reruns and getting the horrible ratings they've been getting... not to mention, their viewers are getting annoyed with the reruns (I know I am!), and are putting pressure on the studios to do something about it.

At this point, it's going to take close to a month to get most of the shows back into production and back on the air. If they push it, and have some scripts close to ready to go, maybe 2-3 weeks. And if this strike goes on much longer, pilot season will be a wash, which means they'll lose at least part of NEXT season... and, that, they REALLY can't afford. An entire calendar year without new episodes??? That would be death! Not to mention that SAG has shown MAJOR support, and we will not hesitate to go out on strike when our contract is up. Won't do them much good to have directors without any writers or actors, and a long strike by the actors would mean at least half of next season (if they even had any pilots at all) would be shot.

So let's HOPE that this deal is a decent one, the writers are able to go back to work, and that when we begin to negotiate, we have a good starting place!! PLEASE!!!!! We want to get back to work!

What a wimp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, Secret, my little orange tabby? The one whose photo I snapped when she decided to become part of the Christmas decorations?

Well, she came to me as a stray on the street. One day I was going to work, and had to park a couple of blocks away. She trotted up to me, and then followed me to the building, until someone scared her away. I thought that was the last I'd see of her, until I came out to go home, and found her chilling underneath my car. Yup, she walked back there and waited for me to come back. Then when I opened the door, she jumped in and rode home on my lap... so I didn't have much of a choice, right?

Only, she still would LIKE to be an outdoor kitty. There for a while, she had kind of given up on the idea and stopped trying to sneak out-- until a couple of weeks ago, when she had a GREAT time leading me on a merry chase after her, trotting off with her tail held high when I got close, sniffing and just having a blast until she decided she'd had enough and let me carry her back in....

Once she got a taste of it again, she decided she remembered what she liked about it... only the next time she got out, the weather wasn't NEARLY so nice.... it was snowing/sleeting... so she made a beeline for the nearest car and would NOT come out. Every time she stuck her nose out and felt the snow/sleet, she just looked at me and mewed pitifully. SUCH A WIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never heard her meow in such a pitiable way.... every time her little precious fur got a little wet!! FINALLY, she let me pick her up, get her out from under the car and get her under my coat to go inside.

I guess I'll have to keep her! ;)

Tom Cruise

2008-01-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the video? Okay, I've noticed the wackiness over the last few years, and noticed that his acting was REALLY affected (I mean, seriously, War of the Worlds? He was outacted by an 8 year old who was given nothing to do but SCREAM. He was AWFUL, and the only reason I didn't walk out was because I was with other people and I didn't drive to the theatre that night).

But, now? After watching the movie? I'm truly frightened by him. He's certifiably crazy and has lost the ability to form a coherent or cogent thought or sentence, apparently. How can ANYONE talk for over 9 minutes and make not ONE intelligible statement?

And Katie? She is now officially a Stepford Wife. Did you see her on Letterman? If you didn't, Youtube it. That was THE most boring interview I've ever seen. While he appeared to be spontaneous, she appeared to have rehearsed every single answer. It was just kind of creepy. I used to really like her, too, and think she was a good actor... based on the clip he showed of her upcoming movie, she, too, has lost the mojo... and they want their 2-year-old to be an actor, too? Because she's an 'artist'?? At TWO??????????????????? GMAFB!

::Shiver::

Woo Hoo!!! Buy a lottery ticket!!

2008-01-14T14:40:00.001-08:00

I am so excited!! Our show was nominated for a regional "Best Show" award! Cool!! :) Well, we didn't win, but I DID vote, and everyone who voted was entered into a random drawing.... and I WON!!! I have never won anything before! Seriously! I went to the track, bet dimes on the trotters, and LOST! But, I WON this time!! 2 tickets to 2 different shows and they came today.

I can't WAIT!!!! :)

(I did buy a lottery ticket and STILL didn't win that, though, darn it!).

Wakey, Wakey!!!

2008-01-13T10:16:00.002-08:00

Ever been awakened in the middle of the night? By knocking on the door? Know how your heartrate just SPIKES?! Well, that happened last night. Got out of bed, and walked slowly and quietly down the stairs, after hearing the knocking over and over again for several minutes... just when I would think it was over, after a pause, it would start again. When I got downstairs, I could tell that it was not knocking on MY door, but on the house next door. WHEW!!! Waited a while, and thought AGAIN that it was over (heard the screen door close), but just as I got back into bed and started to calm down a little, it started again. At that point, I was just annoyed. I guess they got tired and went away eventually-- me, I turned the radio up. It's SO hard to go back to sleep once you're fully awake!!!!

I know I've been remiss on my 365 posts... am going to try to start again today.

I'm feeling a LOT better, but the house is still a mess, and I don't feel much like doing a whole lot. I did go to Target and the grocery store yesterday. Spent $60 at Target, 'cause I was out of almost EVERYTHING-- toilet tissue, scot towels, kleenex, detergent... ARGH! Now, not so much anymore, fortunately!

::Yawn::

2008-01-10T15:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I've almost survived the week. I'm still not feeling all that well, and trying to work all day every day has got me pretty much drained, but I've almost gotten through! Saturday, I can sleep!! :)

I am excited. I won a prize in a drawing-- 2 tickets to 2 shows!! Very cool, since I don't ever win anything!!
Gonna go get a lottery ticket! LOL! That does go a long way toward making me feel a little better.

I did get the rest of the antibiotics, which I DEFINITELY still need. The doctor had to write another prescription, but I got them! YAY! Oh, I hope they work. I have not had a cold/infection this bad in a long time. Mom says that I'm delaying my recovery by working, but I don't have much choice.

Christmas

2008-01-06T09:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, I haven't posted any pics so far, but I just HAVE to try to post one. Looks like it did!! Merry Christmas! :)

Christmas-- was okay. I was just so exhausted (I was fighting off this sinus infection even before Christmas), and really not feeling in a Christmas mood. The last show was wonderful and sad, and I had a hard time sleeping, especially knowing that I needed to be up by 3 am to get to the airport the regulation 2 hours before flight time-- especially at Christmas, because it takes a LONG time to find a parking place at Christmas, especially on Christmas Eve day. You'd be SHOCKED at how many people were AT the airport at 5 am on Christmas Eve!

Woke up at 2, so got up anyway, to make sure that everything was ready to go. I did NOT get the house cleaned, which I ALWAYS do before a trip, because I HATE coming home to a dirty house. HATE it. ANYWAY, got to the airport, we had a VERY difficult time trying to find a place to park, but finally did. Got through security and had to wait-- because the plane, of course, took off late, even though it was the first flight of the day! For no reason that could be determined. Which meant we were late getting into Memphis. Which meant running all the way from the gate we landed at to the gate for the next plane, while knowing that the flight was scheduled to take off in 10 minutes.... and just as I approached the gate, some poor deluded woman who was trying to be comforting said, "Don't run, they'll hold the plane for you!" Um, yeah.

Um, no. Though we arrived 5 minutes before the plane was scheduled to leave, and they KNEW the flight was late, and they KNEW when it landed (and there were several other people from other flights, too, who were in a similar situation), they, of course, did NOT hold the plane.

So, we stood. And stood. And waited. And waited. For 45 minutes. Without an apology or even an acknowledgment. Until, FINALLY, someone took us over to ANOTHER desk to rebook us-- guess she finally got tired of us standing there, having been told by the other woman to 'just sit down and we'll get to you," when we first got there. Um, no, I'm not sitting down, because then you'll totally forget we're here!!! So, FINALLY got rebooked on a flight FOUR AND A HALF HOURS LATER.

So, there we were. In Memphis. For FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. And, quickly discovered that there is almost NOTHING in the Memphis airport (shopping, eating) that is not OUTSIDE the security barriers. I was not ABOUT to go out and then have to stand in a security line for 2 hours and go through all that again. No WAY. I dislike the Memphis airport almost as much as I dislike Detroit. I will NEVER go through Memphis again, and will never fly Northwest again-- EVERY time I've flown them, something under THEIR control has gone wrong. I think we will from now on be flying direct into Louisville on Southwest and flying. Cheaper, nicer and a LOT less aggravation.

ANYWAY, of course the NEXT plane was late, too (so why not the one we were SUPPOSED to have been on?)... so, by the time we arrived home, it was a 12-hour trip, and then discovered that the luggage went to DETROIT. After waiting for almost 20 minutes for the luggage (because while they said the luggage from Memphis was going to be on a particular carousel, the sign AT the carousel had another flight number on it... so, I wasn't sure which luggage was actually going around and around. FINALLY found someone to ask, who said, "This is it. This is the Memphis flight." He WAS able to pinpoint WHERE the luggage went, but not WHY it went to Detroit. Nor when it would be THERE. Never got even a HINT of an apology.

Gave them the local address and phone number, never heard from them. Finally called them. "Oh, well, it wasn't on the flight we thought it would be on, but we have another flight coming in tonight at 11pm." Um, yeah, that flight NEVER flies. It almost ALWAYS gets cancelled. I know this, because I was supposed to be ON that flight a couple of times, and it was cancelled both times, AND several people who fly it frequently said they like to combine the flights if they don't have enough people on them. Anway, of course, it DIDN'T come. But I had to CALL THEM to find out. And they STILL didn't know where the luggage was. And they STILL didn't know WHY it went to Detroit. And they STILL didn't offer even a HINT of an apology.

FINALLY, on the THIRD day, I called again and was told it was actually here, and in the hands of a delivery company. Called them... "Um, why do you think we have it?" "Um, 'cause I was TOLD you did?" "Oh, yeah, but I can't leave right now, and the other guy is out making deliveries, so I'll call you and will bring it in a couple of hours when he gets back." Fast-forward to....

Six hours later, when I call them again. "OK, he's going to bring it out now." I actually did get ONE call from them. From the driver who couldn't find the house. Um, you go down this street, turn right on this street, an immediate left, and it's on the left. All fairly major streets. And you'd REALLY think that a company whose business it is to deliver things would have access to Mapquest or a GPS, wouldn't you? Anyway, he DOES call and says he can't find it, but I give him directions again, and he'll be there, or he'll call again. Of course, he doesn't.

When I call them AGAIN, "Our driver couldn't find it. Give me directions AGAIN." So I do-- the SAME ones. Which they don't seem to understand. "Does that street dead-end into a cul-de-sac?" "Um, yeah, if you go far enough, but you're going to turn an immediate left BEFORE that. " "OK, we'll call you."

You guessed it. They didn't. We DID, however, find the luggage on the front porch the next morning. ::SIGH:: Right under the doorbell. ::DOUBLE SIGH::

Well, at least it got there! WAY after Christmas!

Sis and her partner didn't come. They decided to spend Christmas this year with partner's family. Which I guess I can understand. But, Mom was REALLY upset by it, and for the first time in quite a while, I wondered if this might be our last Christmas with her. She seems to be holding her own, but she also seems to be having a harder time. That's really been on my mind lately-- I just can't imagine not having her around, being able to talk to her whenever I want (usually on the way home from work! Makes that LONG drive home bearable).

Her neighbor, K., was going to join us for Christmas dinner, and then she had a friend she was going to spend Christmas with. Mom invited her, too, but K. said that the friend really wanted to cook. She did come by to give us presents, and spent several hours talking.

Then on Saturday before I left, we went to an open house at the lady across the street's house. It was very nice, and I got to meet some people who've moved in since I left, or that I haven't seen since we were down there a couple of years ago to help with Mom's garage sale. I also got to meet the wife of the man who bought the other half of the duplex from my aunt. He's really nice, and she seems to be, too.... but this one is mostly for their kids who are in college, since it's near the university, so they don't spend a whole lot of time there.

So, it was quiet, we did some shopping, but not as much as usual. It WAS relaxing, which was nice, but just didn't seem like Christmas.

I didn't even do much decorating here. And what I DID do, I can't wait right now to take down. As soon as I feel better, I'm going to.

WHEW!! That was long-winded!!!!

Insurance companies AGAIN!!! :(

2008-01-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

I finally feel well enough to talk about Christmas. Which I will do in a moment.

First, I have to say that the first time using my new BC/BS Rx insurance was NOT an auspicious one... I have a feeling that this may be even worse than Caremark, although I'll reserve judgement for the time being. The doc prescribed 12 antibiotic pills. They gave me, of course, the generic (I'm not going to quibble with antibiotics).... only, they would only authorize HALF of the script. For which I paid $10. I asked what I was supposed to do, and the guy said, 'Well, you could pay for the rest out of pocket." "How much will that cost?" "$57." FIFTY-SEVEN DOLLARS????? The six I got, including my co-pay and what they say the insurance company paid, only came to $25... so why, if I'm paying out of pocket, is it more than TWICE what they charge the insurance company?????? Makes NO sense.

Well, of course, there was no-one at the insurance company to explain this decision to me. So I have to try to find some time while at work on Monday (which is almost impossible, since I don't even get time for LUNCH) to try to call and argue with them. THEY should not be making medical decisions. THEY are not my doctor, and as everyone who has any knowledge of antibiotics knows, you HAVE to take ALL of them. ALL of them, or the infection will come back worse than ever. ::SIGH::

Meanwhile, I did get my cool little Visa card that will allow me to automatically debit my FSA account to pay for my scripts instead of asking for reimbursement. That's nice. Hopefully, it will save some money for me, since it's tax free funds that are put in there.

Congratulations!

2008-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

It's a sinus infection! :( I am now waiting for them to fill an antibiotic script. Well, hopefully, this will make me feel better, 'cause right now, I'm not sure I could make it through an entire week. The doc heard that I had called in sick on Wednesday and Thursday and said, "Enough said!" I have NEVER called in sick two days in a row (except when I was in the hospital with an allergic reaction-- a BAD one-- over a year ago), so she knew it was bad... and knew it was a sinus infection before she even looked... took one look, said, "ICK!" and I walked out with a shiny new med to take. ::SIGH::

She's also after me to have a sleep study done, and was TICKED that they wouldn't do the glucose tolerance test and didn't bother to listen to the answering machine message which would have given them her cellphone number so they could contact her. Oh, well....

Damn airplanes......

2008-01-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

and their germs!!! I started getting sick Tuesday afternoon, and by Wednesday, was laid low. REALLY low... by Wednesday night/Thursday morning, I was not sleeping and throwing up everything I ate. My sinuses hurt so badly I couldn't lay down and I literally got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep, mostly in 20 minute spurts. By last night, I was better (slept through most of the night), and although I'm still hacking and coughing up green gunk, I did go to work today, and managed to do pretty well... started getting a little tired by the afternoon, but made it through without any major problems, thank goodness! And, now, the weekend, where, despite the fact that I have not yet washed the clothes from my trip, the house is a total mess and the Christmas decorations aren't down, I'm going to REST!!! :) I'll do little bits here and there, and am going to the doc just to make sure that I don't have the flu or anything, but since I've recovered so substantially in the last day or so, I'm guessing not. Well, hey, I managed to hold it off, too, until after the holidays!!! Couldn't get really sick during the run of the show, now, could I?

Zicam works really well for me, but (and it may be because I don't take it as directed, but usually only a couple at a time), it usually only holds off the cold for me until it's more 'convenient' to get sick. LOL! But, fortunately, I don't tend to get many colds to begin with. Used to be, I'd get a cold every December, like clockwork.

Happy 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-31T17:16:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that it is 2008-- well, in England, it is.... and an hour ago, I sat watching the fireworks over the Thames, and the Millenium Wheel lit up, and Big Ben.... feeling sad and old, remembering the year I lived there and we welcomed in 1996 at Trafalgar Square. That was such a wonderful time, but this year, there was no-one left there to call.... the people I knew have moved away, or gone back home. :( I just read a book called, "Marley and Me," over Christmas... all about a man's journey with his wonderful Lab, from puppyhood through senior years, and ever since I've been obsessing over how fast time is going, how much I miss the way things used to be and how much the losses over time hurt. I miss London SO much, I miss the friends I had there, I miss my Grandparents, I miss the city I was born in, which is to a great extent unrecognizable, I miss the kids I have taught in the past, I miss my puppy Fluffy, and the kitty I lost just over a year ago. It seems like yesterday she was a kitten, jumping on the furniture... and then I remember the last couple of years where she couldn't even come up the stairs anymore (and I didn't dare carry her up because I was afraid she'd be stuck up there). I cry when I think of her alone on the main floor, when she ALWAYS slept with me as a young kitten. And now I am facing a similar situation with my older cat who's left.... she is now 11, and no longer jumping up on the tops of doors or on top of cabinets like she used to. She is still doing well (jumps on the kitchen island, the dresser, and even into the refrigerator if it's left open long enough), but I keep thinking how fast time goes and how soon she will not be. :(

Mostly, I'm worried about my mom. She has begun talking about not being here again, and the pain is obviously getting worse.... more and more frequently, she is having trouble breathing, too. I can't imagine not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her on the way home from work, or not e-mail her, or not having the little 'care' packages she still sends, or having a place to go 'home' to where she is. She has been the rock that held our family together ever since I was young. I know SHE worries about not being able to take care of herself anymore and what will happen when/if she can't. I can't imagine seeing her in a nursing home. Now, I'm starting to worry about ME growing older... I don't feel young anymore and worry about the future. And every holiday just reminds me more of all of the above. The future doesn't seem to be good anymore.

Anyway, enough drowning in being maudlin. I will write more about Christmas tomorrow.

Meanwhile, may everyone have a joyous, happy and healthy New Year!

What a couple of weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-18T14:56:00.001-08:00

Well, I haven't been around because last week was tech week. Which means that we were at rehearsal every night from Sunday on. Friday was our first performance, Saturday two performances and then Sunday night. Sunday morning I slept until 10 (I haven't done that in YEARS, if EVER!!!!! I was shocked when I woke up and looked at the clock). Boy, was it incredibly nice to do that!!!!

Friday night we went out after the show to a little pub around the corner from the theatre-- I KNEW better than to eat anything at that time of night, but I did-- it was really good, too-- steak strips that had been marinated. They could have been cooked a little bit more (I do NOT like blood in my meat!), but they tasted really good. My stomach didn't appreciate it the next morning, though! Then on Saturday, S. took us to an amazing deli between shows. We'll be going back next Saturday between shows, too!

And, we didn't get as much from the storm as they said we would-- in fact, all we got was a lot of rain and a LOT of (up to 60mph) wind! Fortunately, no loss of power, and we didn't have to cancel the show. The audiences have loved it and the reviews have been REALLY good, so I am pumped!!!!!!

Yesterday, the people I asked TWO MONTHS AGO to do my roof FINALLY, out of the blue, called me and said, "I want to come out and start your roof today!" Um, it's a little late. I didn't hear from you for two MONTHS. @@ Anyway, I'm more willing to wait a little longer (though I'm finding shingles on the ground that I am SURE are coming from my roof) for someone I trust rather than a company that doesn't even bother to call and confirm, and expects me just to wait for them with no information for two months.

Today, we took the kids to see "The Christmas Carol." One of the kindergartners had a seizure just before the show started. She is stable and will be ok, but we were all shook up, especially the kids. So, an interesting day!!! One more day and then I get some time to maybe get some Christmas shopping done! Performances this weekend and then leaving for home, so I have to make sure everything's packed and ready before I leave for the theatre on Sunday. I am SO ready for a break!!!!! I'm even (sort of) looking forward to the show being over-- it has been heaven to be able to just come home tonight and relax a little bit.

Strangest thing happened last Friday, though... didn't have time to come home, so I stopped at a fast food place to get something to eat on the way to the theatre. A guy I've never met comes up, asks what I'm reading, tells me his name and asks me if I want to go out sometime for dinner! He gave me his phone number and said to call him. I won't, because I have no idea who this guy is, but, it was flattering. :)

And, now, I am going to get another 7 hour night of sleep! YAY! I know I have to get the house cleaned up before I leave, because I HATE, hate, HATE to come home to a dirty house... but, tonight-- SLEEP! :)

Chanukah Sameach!!!!

2007-12-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

May everyone who celebrates have a lovely, brightly lit holiday!!! My friend and I went to her Temple's Chanukah celebration last night. It was a BLAST!!!!! There were SO many kids-- and I mean YOUNG kids there!! They had a little 'volleyball' area set up with some great little 'beach' balls for the kids to hit back and forth, they had a crafts table, and best of all, great food!!! Latkes and kugel! YUM!!!!!!!!!!! It was great. There was a wonderful DJ there, too. He played some GREAT music (60s and 70s for us 'old folks' I guess! LOL!) and he got the kids, especially, but some of us 'big kids,' too, involved in dancing. He taught them the macarena, they did the limbo, the Electric Slide and we did the YMCA. It was a great, fun time!! They lit the Chanukah candles, and P. and I left a little early-- the kids were still dancing!! Mazel tov to all who worked so hard to make that wonderful night happen for the kids.

Today I went to DC and had my headshots done again. The guy who did them is great. He is funny (just SILLY funny) and is able to really relax you. The woman who did make-up (who I think is his wife) is good, too. I got to see a lot of the shots and a cd to bring home to look at to decide which ones I want him to retouch and make masters of. It was most definitely worth it! I can't wait to get them repro'd and sent out! DEFINITELY much better, from what I saw, than either of the other two I have had do them. Expensive, but very reasonable when you're talking about a NY photographer... and actually cheaper than the first guy I had do them a few years ago.

The Rainbow Bridge

2007-12-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

Oh, yesterday was NOT a great day! :( We DID get 2 hour delay, which meant I got to sleep an hour late, which was nice. And we had a staff lunch for Christmas, so that was nice, too. It was a great restaurant I'd never been to before. We ate out on the deck (glass windows, which are opened I guess in the summer) with a HUGE gas fire in the middle of the round table where we sat. The food was great!! They had the BEST cheesecake du leche (or something like that) which has caramel in it. OMG, it was GREAT!! And HUGE. We ALL took some home. It's going to make THREE desserts!

Then, we stood around talking for a long time, about nothing- about kids, about football, about whatever. When I finally got down to the parking garage to get to my car, I discovered some MORON parked so closely to my car that he was partially over the line into my space, and I literally could not open the car door enough to get in. I had to climb in from the passenger side. I wanted SO badly to leave a nasty note, but I didn't have any paper, darn it!!

Anyway, the kids were just totally out of control at rehearsal, and that didn't go so well. :( ::SIGH:: I think part of it was that they were just tired... but I was SO glad to get out of there! We're going to have an adults only cast party, that's for sure!!!! And I really DO think, like I said to them, that when it comes to crunch time, the kids will come through. I have been through it a lot with Christmas performances, etc... you think they're not paying attention and/or they're never going to do what needs to be done, but when people are watching them and they know it counts, they come through!

I was really tired-- this has been an extremely stressful week!-- and got a message from L. that her kitty B. had died. I was in tears. He was a sweetie. He was a tortoiseshell and BIG and just LOVED her. He WAS hers, and wouldn't be without her. Not even at the vet. They had to call her and tell her to come pick him up the last time she tried to leave him for tests... he was so upset that the bloodwork would have been useless anyway. He was 18 (I think almost 19), and was diabetic. He'd been on insulin for a while, and seemed to be doing well. He hadn't been feeling well the last few days, so she had taken him to the vet. The vet said he had an infection in his mouth and gave him some medicine. They thought that was the problem and why he hadn't been eating. She was supposed to take him back Thursday if he wasn't doing better. When she got home, he was laying on the bathroom floor, breathing really hard. She took him to give him some more medicine and was about to take him to the emergency vet when she noticed he wasn't breathing-- all within 5 minutes. I think and J. thinks that he was waiting for her to come home.

He's not in pain anymore, at least, and he's with her other baby who died a couple of years ago. We will miss him greatly. I used to take care of him and give him his insulin sometimes when she was out of town. He was a lovely, beautiful furbaby, and a very special one. She is taking it very hard, and I don't know how she's going to handle it. Godspeed, little boy!

P. and I were supposed to go to a Chanukah dinner tomorrow night, but I don't know-- might need to spend some time with her. We'll see how she feels tomorrow. I know the pain she is going through-- I still find myself calling for my Tia, even though she died over a year ago. :*(

So, I'm really down tonight and not feeling like going anywhere, especially since they've called for more bad weather. Think I'm going to try to sleep some, too. Things usually look better (somewhat) after a good sleep and when the sun comes up.

Tomorrow I have to go get my hair done and get ready-- Sunday I'm going to DC to have my headshots done. I'm going to get them done right this time. A great photogropher from NY who periodically comes down to do shoots here. Lucky-- otherwise, it would mean dragging everything I need on the train or the bus or driving in NYC, which I absolutely REFUSE to do. I'm TRYING to look forward to it-- it SHOULD be fun!

And I'm TRYING to feel in the Christmas mood- it's going to be very difficult doing a Christmas show if I'm not-- again, maybe after a good sleep (and after they get my roof started!!!!!), I'll start feeling a bit better.

Meanwhile, my cats are having a LOVELY time knocking the ornaments off the tree!!!!!!!! I haven't put them back on. I just couldn't have dealt with coming back and seeing them all over the floor again right now. But, we did put the non-breakable ornaments (the crocheted or made out of material) on the bottom, so no breakage. That's a good thing, at least!! S. has decided that they must be kitty toys, and I'm finding them upstairs, downstairs, everywhere-- she must be dragging/carrying them around with her, though I never see her do it (she's WAY too smart for that!).

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2007-12-07T17:03:00.001-08:00

We have had our first snow of the season, and it is bloody COLD now!!!!! It was kind of pretty at first, but I do not like to drive in it, and the kids could sense that... one of them even asked me-- I'm thinking maybe her parents don't like to drive in it, either!!

But, the kids, even though they were excited, were really good about it... it was kinda cool! The school decided to close 1/2 hour early. @@ Didn't really matter, though, because half of the parents had already come and picked them up.

No rehearsal, so for once I got to come home, relax, have a fire, and enjoy the Christmas lights. :) AND get some SLEEP!! Although, going to bed early meant I woke up at FOUR thirty Thursday morning. ::SIGH:: I did manage to get a little bit more sleep, but WHY when I go to sleep early, and I'm tired, does my body decide I am only allowed 6 hours?!

23/365 -- Sean

2007-12-01T18:02:00.000-08:00

Sean, S-e-a-n. The necessary first introduction. The Transylvanian Vampire!! Car accident--broken back-- you didn't even know! Letting us park at your house. David's friend, always together. Seeming jokester, but serious underneath. Working hard, supporting yourself and going to school.

22/365 -- David

2007-12-01T17:57:00.000-08:00

So tall, so 'tough' looking-- army jackets. Kind and sensitive soul. A teddy bear. So alone, family all gone. Artistic, creative (especially with music). Karate, which I loved-- sparring, which I hated. Rocky Horror-- what a Frank 'n Furter!

21/365 -- Cindy

2007-12-01T17:49:00.000-08:00

Horses! Even allergies couldn't stop her. Sultan! Tears when he died. Sneaking out in 8th grade. To the stable! Peter Pan, Rashomon. The only one who truly understood. AMAZING artist. Cindy and David, inseparable... until they weren't. Riff Raff forever!

20/365 -- Jamie

2007-12-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

Shy, not much confidence. The prettiest of all of us. Germany, London, Belgium. What a trip!!!!!!!!!!! Running all over London! 4th of July dinner!! 22 hours on a bus without being able to move. Always seeming sad. Kind and generous.

19/365 -- Ashley C.

2007-12-01T17:42:00.001-08:00

Shy, quiet, hurt. SO smart! So generous! Wanted only to go on tour with mom and sister. Always felt left out. Who'd have thought she'd be the one to make it big? AMAZING talent!!! Finally, the confidence matches! Go, girl!

18/365 -- Mrs. G

2007-12-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

My first boss. The best!!! Managed us high school and college kids like a pro! Nightmare on Elm Street, 'naughty' ice cream cakes decorated in the freezer away from eyes! Equestrienne daughter. Decided to really retire-- end of an era.

17/365 -- Theresa

2007-12-01T17:35:00.001-08:00

High school. Good friends! Homeroon-- instant connection, taking the same classes! Babysitting her precious little sister! Her pride and joy! No-one else was good enough!! Junior year-- ignored. New friends, guess I wasn't good enough anymore. Never spoke again.

16/365 -- Melissa

2007-12-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

Met through Susan. Didn't like each other at first. Surprise!! First day of high school, the two "F"s next to each other in homeroom!! Best friends!! Basketball team statisticians, travelling, Harry. Never knew her so happy!! Weekend video marathons!

15/365 -- Susan

2007-12-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

My best friend from 1st grade on. The few of us with divorced parents stuck together. Taking the Strawberry Shortcut-- spending the afternoons together so we wouldn't be alone. Girl Scouts, catching crawdads. So beautiful-- cheerleader. So hurt, so lonely.

Wow!! Really??????

2007-11-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since I posted? I hadn't realized it had been that long. This week has been amazingly busy and has gone by SO fast!

We had rehearsal three nights this week, and had a bit of a scare. The boy who is my 'son,' didn't show up for rehearsal one night. Everyone was trying to get hold of him, his mother was calling everyone she knew. He had supposedly left school at 4 and that was the last time anyone had seen him. We were all worried sick. But, thank goodness, it turns out he didn't have his phone, and had been waiting for his mother to come pick him up AT school! He waited for HOURS, the poor kid-- and Mom didn't know he was expecting her to pick him up!

So, all's well that ends well, but a sleepless night in there!

FINALLY, got someone who I think is trustworthy to look at the roof, and they will begin soon to fix it. Decided to replace the whole thing, because we don't know how old it is, and if it's the original roof, it's close to 20 years old, so I might was well replace it anyway. Can't start for several weeks, though, which is getting us close to Christmas and bad weather (supposed to even maybe have some snow this weekend, plus rain. ::SIGH::). Anyway, he's going to try to rush it, maybe put it ahead of a few people whose roofs AREN'T leaking. I hope he can!!!!

We've got some state officials coming to the school next week. ACK!!! So, I've got a lot of stuff home to work on this weekend. REALLY need to make sure things are up to snuff. Also had to work with a new teacher this week, to show her the ropes, so I've just been overwhelmed. And I don't see it getting any better until after Christmas!!

I am hoping we can get some Christmas decorating done this weekend, and maybe I'll feel more in the Christmas spirit! :) Gonna watch some of those holiday movies on Hallmark Channel, too. I DO love the tree and the lights, and having a fire in the fireplace while just the holiday lights are on! :) And the Advent Wreath really makes me stop and think about the whole Christmas season, which always centers me.

I will work on updating my 365 list this weekend, too... I'm a bit behind, I know.

The Countdown Has Begun.....

2007-11-24T15:02:00.001-08:00

I actually wasn't all that excited about Christmas this year... I don't know why, I'm just feeling stressed right now, and not much in a holiday mood. Money is tight, don't really have time to do a lot of shopping.... I HATE feeling like a Scrooge!

But, I have to admit that the Christmas music in the grocery store, the Christmas movies on Lifetime (the 'countdown to the 25 days of Christmas? What is THAT all about???? You're ALREADY showing Christmas movies!), and a radio station link I got from Rosie O'Donnell's blog have kinda started me feeling kinda Christmasy. This radio station is playin 24/7 Christmas music, so you can 'tune in' when you feel Christmasy and turn it off when you've had enough.

http://www.1067litefm.com/main.html

Adventures in Verizonland......

2007-11-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

I went to the Verizon store today to have my contact info and photos transferred from the old phone to the new phone. As I walk in, 3 guys are walking out. The girl working there (alone) starts looking at something and then walks quickly to the door-- she then walks even more quickly to the back room. Seems that those three guys stole a Blackberry PDA phone she had been showing them. Also turns out they had stolen things from her before at another job (and, most likely, from lots of other people as well), and she caught a glimpse of them running behind the shopping center up to some apartments behind it. Apartments that are not known for being a 'good' place to be, if you know what I mean. And there is no way ANYONE should be working alone, I don't care where you are.

Security is called (but arrive before they are notified, which was interesting-- they got a phone call as they were standing there, telling them to go there). She also called her boss and the police, who were presumably coming soon.

Anyway, she did, although a bit shook up, manage to transfer my contacts to the new phone fairly quickly. Now, I just have to figure out how not to lose my photos, 'cause I'll be very upset if I do, and I only have a few days to get the old phone back to Verizon before they charge me. She gave me a Verizon web address, but I'm wondering how much money it will cost me to 'send' my pics there!

I can't figure out how to use the usb cable I spent $40 for to download them, either... ::SIGH::

Anyway, very weird... and I really didn't pay much attention to them as they walked out, and only saw them for a couple of seconds, so I have no idea what they look like. She has a good idea who they are, though-- and, they, most likely, are already in jail. I mean, seriously, how stupid can you be? If they activate the phone, it will lead the police directly TO them, and if they sell it and the person who buys it activates it, it will lead the police directly to THAT person... and my guess? They are not going to go to jail for someone else.

Otherwise, it has been a pretty nice, relaxing weekend so far, overall... gotta work on my lines this afternoon, for sure! Do a little bit of cleaning, and maybe watch some "Psych" that L. left for me. I haven't seen much of it, but what I've seen has been REALLY funny!!!

Also went to the grocery, but DAG, it's COLD out there!! Don't want to spend any more time out there than necessary!!! And took some winter coats to a dry cleaner that's close by. They DESPERATELY need cleaning.... $16/coat, and they won't be ready 'til Friday. Don't think I'll be going back there again! But, hey, I was already there, it's close and I was feeling lazy!

14/365 -- Mrs. Guard

2007-11-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

6th grade... I get to be her assistant. Help her grade papers, whatever she needs. Kind, caring, amazing teacher!! Another reason I became a teacher-- to be as good as she was! Hope I helped with the work overload!

13/365 -- Mrs. Hall

2007-11-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

First grade teacher. Forcing my sister not to use her left hand. Mother, furious. Two years later, I am in her class. Good thing I already knew how to read! One of the reasons I became a teacher-- to be better.

12/365 -- A stranger

2007-11-23T17:37:00.000-08:00

Waffle House. Paula and I, stopping on the way to Hebrew class, enjoying breakfast. Wonderful 'neighbors,' a really nice conversation. A random act of kindness-- "The bill has been paid." I do my best to try to pay it forward.

11/365 -- Aunt Ruth

2007-11-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

Sis's namesake. Kind and giving. Stayed on the farm to care for her father. Giving up Harry, finding him many years later. I wore my favorite blue dress to your wedding, and was so happy. Only a few years together.

10/365 -- Traci N

2007-11-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

The person who hired me. Who'd have thought it would turn into 12 years??? Blond hair, a bit harried (too much going on, the school year starting). "Hello. How are you? Can you start Tuesday? Here's your assignment." Thanks, Traci!

WHEW!!!!!

2007-11-23T13:56:00.000-08:00

Can I sleep now??? PLEASE?????????????????

After Tuesday night rehearsal (and photo call), aided by yet ANOTHER major accident that had ALL of the roads blocked (1 mile took about 30 minutes... I finally gave up and turned around), causing many people to be late to rehearsal, and a very LATE rehearsal after photo call, I faced Wednesday.

Last day before Thanksgiving. Just EXHAUSTING. Kids all wound up, trying to teach anything almost impossible.

Then I came home and started cooking. Cooked until about 12 am (after making a trip to the grocery store for pie crusts, which I had forgotten). I thought the grocery store was full on Sunday!! That was NOTHING compared to Wednesday night! And it seemed like everyone there was doing ALL of their Thanksgiving grocery shopping on Wednesday night!! YIKES!! So, after waiting forever just for two lousy pie crusts, I came back home and continued cooking. By the time the pies were cooked and then allowed to cool, it was way after 12 and I tumbled off to bed. And my oven is now going to need to be cleaned because the pies, while they turned out wonderfully, managed to boil over and/or spill out of the DEEP DISH pie crusts in which I placed them, leaving nice burned spots on my oven. I tried to clean up the spill on the door, but quickly gave up-- it was WAY too hot to touch even with a wet cloth. It'll just have to burn on and be cleaned off!!

Table was set (well, as set as it CAN be with two cats-- table cloth on, and china washed and stacked on the table under cloths to protect it from little cat paws just in case, and cat hair). D, the cat, decided she wanted to taste the sweetened condensed milk, and it was interesting keeping her away from it while mixing!!! She had already decided that the aluminum roasting pan I was GOING to use made a great sleeping place-- so I ended up having to use the metal roasting pan I have, but didn't want to clean!

Anyway, so, turkey was thawed, eggs boiled for deviled eggs, pies made, cole slaw, cherry salad made.

Next morning, up early and the whole morning was spent cleaning-- the downstairs was not in great shape, so it took a bit of cleaning, plus both the bathrooms had to be presentable for company. WHEW!!

Turkey went in at 11, although the top rack was too low, really-- I thought it would fit, but it was already hot when I put the turkey in, so I thought I would just deal.. except that the top started browning almost immediately, so I needed to put aluminum foil over the turkey-- NOT going to happen with the top rack in the way. So, I grabbed the potholders and took out the top rack, and put it on top of the stove to cool-- burning my arm when it flipped back. ::SIGH:: But, hey, I could now baste and cover the turkey!!!!! And, the lovely burned spots from the pies are making the smoke alarms give off a LOVELY high-pitched squeal!! Fortunately, it was warm enough that I could open the doors and let the smoke out....

Meanwhile, I'm fixing the mashed potatoes, dressing, corn and gravy, and making the deviled eggs. The turkey took (as always) longer than it's supposed to to cook, but that was okay, because I put it in a little early to give it time to cool when it was done. People brought salad, drinks, rolls, other vegetable dishes, so we were not short of food, that's for sure!!

We had a wonderful time eating and talking, and when people went to get leftovers to take home, I discovered I had forgotten to put out the cherry salad, so it went home as leftovers!! I was absolutely exhausted, so it was nice to be able to sit and relax for a while when everyone was gone. But it was a lot of fun! I did not even bother to TRY to start washing dishes, because most of them have to be washed by hand, and I was NOT up to it last night.

And, S., the other cat, who usually will try to grab anything you have to eat, just LAY there when I tried to give them a bit of turkey! I gave some to D., who after a minute of checking it out, not sure what this strange thing was, gobbled it down and quickly asked for more. S., who usually doesn't allow the other one to get ANYTHING that SHE doesn't get, didn't even bat an eyelash. Just lay there in the dining room and watched. I called her, showed her, told her-- nope. "YOU bring the food to ME... I AM, after all, mistress of the house!" No WAY! You want it, you gotta come into the kitchen to get it. Regal swish of tail in reply. So, D. got two pieces of turkey for Thanksgiving. S., for once, doesn't seem to mind. She doesn't like turkey??????

Did have to call the plumber this morning because someone stopped up the toilet-- ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, well, c'est la vie. At least there was one who could come out today, thank goodness-- although they charge an arm and a leg!!!!!!!

Didn't sleep late this morning, too much to do, and I was still a wound up. Did get the kitchen all cleaned up this morning, dishes washed, the dishwasher run (HOW did we use so many utensils????????), and the house more or less restored to order-- in fact, better order than it was before they came (good thing about having company-- gives you REAL incentive to clean up).

Called the plumber, of course, who charge HUGE bucks for a 10-minute job... but it was worth it.. it was NOT fun having to go down two floors to use the restroom!

They had sent my replacement phone, which I got on Wednesday, but of course, hadn't even LOOKED at until today. Got it programmed, activated and about as set up as I can.... I have been told that I should go to Verizon's store and they will transfer all my stuff from the old one to this one. I hope so, will try to maybe deal with that tomorrow.

I'm not sure I like this one, the numbers are more firm (which in most cases is a good thing), but the 7 seems hard to push and doesn't always respond... you sometimes have to hit it 2 or three times to get it to work. Well, I'll give it a few days, and we'll see. I have to get the old one in the mail back to them or they'll charge me 'full retail.' Which is why I hope that Verizon will transfer all my stuff, because it's going to be a royal pain to try to do it all by hand-- and I still don't have any way to get my photos off.

I REALLY would like to go with T-Mobile next time, but then I wouldn't be able to talk to my sis or mom as much (it would cost them minutes), so we'll see.

J. had to work this morning, so she didn't take leftovers home with her last night. She just called and is planning to stop by in a few minutes to get some (I don't know how much is left-- I'll have to go see!).

Talked to Mom and her neighbor who had invited her for Thanksgiving dinner brought her a huge plate full of food when she begged off. Had told K. that she wasn't feeling well, so K. brought dinner to her, which I thought was very nice.

I want to know WHO the heck was out shopping in the middle of the night last night?? Apparently, it was half the free world!! I cannot think of ANYTHING I need that badly. I wasn't even about to go out today-- the radio was giving 'parking lot reports' this morning-- how full this lot is and that lot, and you might as well forget this store for right now, and in Boston there were MILES of backups to get to the stores at TWO IN THE MORNING!!!!!! I can only shake my head. All I wanted to do was SLEEP!!!

Oh, well, that was my Thanksgiving.... how was YOURS? :)

Update on Chocolate

2007-11-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

Of course, since the time I took it to them when it wouldn't come back on, and she finally (after about 10 minutes) got it back on, there have been no problems with it! Figure, huh? They tried to deliver the 'new' one today. We'll see what it looks like and how it works. I am just REALLY dreading having to try to transfer my pics and contacts, especially since they don't send a new battery......

9/365 -- Uncle Ben

2007-11-19T15:18:00.000-08:00

From Lithuania-- Latvia? I never could remember. Escape from Europe-- no words about WWII, ever. Creative, kind, comforting. One of the best jewelry designers I've ever seen. Baby rings for all of his girls. Sunday afternoons, spent listening and talking.

LG Chocolate Phone

2007-11-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

My phone ( a Strawberry Chocolate) has been great. I've had it since April.... until the last couple of weeks. It suddenly started shutting off randomly. At first, I thought it might have something to do with the Bluetooth headset (although I've been using that for months with no problems). It always came right back on, though. Until today. Even though the battery was at 3 bars (and had been at 4 before when it shut off), it shut off today and refused to come back on.

I took the battery out and put it back in, put it on the charger... charger said, "Fully charged." When plugged in, it would come on. Would go off just as soon as it was unplugged, though the battery was supposedly fully charged. Took it to the Verizon store, and they checked moisture (nope). Was told that they would send me a refurbished one, which really annoys me. I bought a NEW one a few months ago, and I know that they're going to take this one and 'fix' it and send it to someone ELSE as a refurbished one. I don't want someone else's problems!

Furthermore, the main reason I bought it was because I wanted to be able to use my own music as ringtones, as almost everyone I know can. Turns out Verizon intentionally crippled that feature so that the ONLY ringtones you can add are those you download from THEM, and I'm sure the Chocolate isn't the only phone they did that on. Furthermore, you can't even add music to it (which is one of the selling points) without buying the $40 extra "Music" accessory pack. AND, I couldn't use my old headset because they have a proprietary connection-- you have to buy it from them... and theirs is VERY uncomfortable, which is why I went out and spent MORE money on a bluetooth headset-- which I should at least be able to use on future phones. I should have taken it back right then, except that I really liked the phone itself.

So, now, I thought I was out of luck for two days, because the refurbished one won't be here until Tuesday, and I won't be around to get it (so it may be even longer, if I have to go pick it up). Anyway, the girl at the store got it turned on again. However, though it had been 'fully charged' just a few minutes before and had been OFF, when she got it back on, it said it was only half charged.

Since this happened, I have done some looking on the internet, and I find that this is a VERY common complaint with the Chocolate phones (random shutting off), along with the screen suddenly going white. I NEED my phone for work... at least the one I have is working right now, let's hope it continues. I'm almost hoping the next one is a dud, too, because as I was told, 3rd strike you can get a different phone. Probably will happen right after the year is up, though!! I found lots of people who are on their third, fourth, or FIFTH Chocolate phone. Unreal!! It appears this phone is very poorly designed and of poor quality, even though I like it when it works! I considered getting the insurance this time, but seems to me that I'd be better off using that money to buy a different phone if it comes to it. And I STILL have to figure out how to get my pics off of it, and will have to manually change my phone book over, I guess- which would have been VERY difficult if the phone won't turn on!!

Wondering if anyone else out there has a Chocolate, and if you've had any problems with them (or not). I will probably not buy a new LG phone ever again (I've previously had bad experiences with their battery life, as has everyone I know who's ever had one-- which is why I hesitated before I got this one), and may go with T-Mobile when this contract is up, because of Verizon's attempts to cripple the features of their phones just to get more money from their customers. I also don't like them giving me a used (and probably returned for defective workmanship) phone to replace the new one I bought from them.

8/365 -- Aunt Catherine

2007-11-18T07:17:00.000-08:00

Stories of hiding from work and her sister watching her through the window!! Strength, courage. Illness. Memories of Sunday afternoons. Shivah when she died. Sadness that she never got to be a mother; she would have been a wonderful one.

Thanksgiving!!!

2007-11-17T05:36:00.000-08:00

I cannot BELIEVE Thanksgiving is only a few days away!! Tomorrow, I have to take the turkey out of the freezer, and today I HAVE to sit down, plan what we're going to have, make a list and go shopping. Fortunately, no rehearsal on Wednesday, so I can cook.

Don't know if J is going to work or not, so I don't know what time we're going to eat. Need to talk to her and find out. I'm going to wash Grandmother's china, and we'll use that... whether I'm going to polish the silver and use it or not, I don't know. We'll see.

Meanwhile, it's COLD here. Down into the 20s last night. I found some extra fuel for the gel fuel fireplace, so we're having the first fire of the season. :) I thought we'd used it all up last year, but not, and you're supposed to use it within a year, so.....

This year, we'll have the fireplace for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Just got it last year (in January), and loved it. It's so nice to have a fire without worrying about cleaning anything up, wood, or the flue..... It looks really nice and matches the entertainment center in wood tone and design.

The Real Flame gel fuel, though, has a particular odor. I don't smell it here as much, but at Mother's house, I really smelled it. I'm surprised it didn't really bother her; asked her several times. I found this new stuff (I can't remember the name right now) that is supposed to not have that odor. Gonna use up the rest of the old stuff first, though. Got some for J., too, for hers, and I'm going to send a couple of the new ones down to Mother's to see if they are better. If she likes them better, I'll get her some of them, too. I think the new ones last longer, too.

7/365 -- JP

2007-11-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

Drunk. "Fix me another one!" Pain, covered with alcohol. Waiting for hours, but he never comes. "I love you," ONCE. Sadness at what might have been, what he chose to give up. Promises made, unkept. Destroying himself, dying too young.

6/365 -- Dave

2007-11-16T16:12:00.001-08:00

Radio deejay. Pervert extraordinaire. How many little girls? Two who called for a song. My sister kept me safe. He chose Susan-- an only child, alone, desperate for a father's love. Should I tell? Fired-- but then what? And WHO?

5/365 -- Grandmother

2007-11-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

Classy, strong, a working mother before they were common. From juvenile court to upscale fashion buyer! Wanted her own antique store, and began collecting. I still regret that dream didn't come true. Christmas dinners, twin presents for Michelle and me.

::YAWN::

2007-11-15T17:38:00.001-08:00

I am SO exhausted. Rehearsal was really late last night-- we have only a month and the last two scenes just weren't gelling, so we stayed and worked.

Then, today was parent conferences.... and although I like the chance to talk to the parents, and I had a LOT show up, I didn't get out of there 'til 7 (so a 12-hour day on top of over an hour to get there and almost an hour home). So, it was VERY hectic, and no time for dinner until I got home, so I am just beat.

I know I haven't done my 365 for the last couple of days. I'm going to add a few extras tomorrow to catch up. I just am too tired to think tonight, and it takes a lot of thought to distill the life of someone important to me (and my memories of them) into just a few words... I really didn't think it would be as hard as it is... but I am really enjoying it. It's allowing me to relive and really making me think about what made them important.

4/365 -- Grandaddy

2007-11-13T14:36:00.001-08:00

Integrity. Old-fashioned chivalry. Protection, love. "You girls be good!" 'His girls.' Self-made man, off to the 'big city'. Working, going to school, taking the bus home each weekend with a $10 gold piece for his family--half his salary. Missed!

3/365 -- Grandmother F.

2007-11-12T15:33:00.000-08:00

Lemon drops. Playing upstairs in the caretaker's apartment (against the rules!). The cracked tile in the fireplace tile. Wishing I'd known her better. Reading the books she authored, and getting to. Old fashioned Irish Catholic. Strong, independent. Amazingly talented writer.

Caremark

2007-11-11T17:33:00.001-08:00

Okay, the comment from Sean about Caremark was too much to answer in a comment reply, so here goes.

Please do your research before you start bad-mouthing certain corporations. Caremark is an ADMINISTRATOR of the plan that is created by YOUR insurance company or employer; CAREMARK does not increase your co-pays. They follow the contract created by YOUR insurance co. or employer.>>

Firstly, I believe the above is what I said. ::Looking back:: Yup, that's what I said. Perhaps YOU are the one who needs to read before you start shooting off your mouth.

The problem was that they took over without any notice, and ALL communication avenues led to them. There was no opportunity to speak with anyone at the insurance company, and yet Caremark refused to answer any questions because they were 'just an administrator.' If they are going to be the SOLE point of contact, they had better be prepared to take care of the customers that are paying them.

They took over without any notice, and raised the co-pays (without any notice), PER THEIR OWN REPRESENTATIVES. THEY are the ones who said they raised it, and they did not have a good reason for doing so in the MIDDLE of the contract period. The contract I agreed to was for a particular copay for the period of one year. They violated that contract, they did not follow it.

Secondly,
3-tier drugs are very expensive for your plan and 99% of 3-tier medications either have a generic or similiar, less-expensive brand name medication...so stop bitching about a $45 co-pay for a drug that your plan is paying hundreds or thousands of dollars for becuase you're unwilling to use the generic or a less expensive brand.>>

That's the point. There ARE no less-expensive brand names (and, by the way, this is a DIFFERENT prescription plan I'm talking about now-- the one we're GOING to have, not the one we have now)... EVERY SINGLE brand I looked at was a Tier-3, with only two or three exceptions.

As for generics, I HAVE tried them, I HAVE used some. But for thyroid, no, I will NOT use a generic, nor a different brand, because I have been advised by my doctor (as have most people who take thyroid medication) to NOT change from what you're using without a good reason. Any changes, including increasing/decreasing dosage, have to be monitored closely, and it's very difficult to titrate. It can take up to 6 months of adjusting dosages to get the right one when you start. Had I known when I began that they were going to do this, I might have started with a generic... IF I could have been guaranteed to get the SAME generic each time. I simply took the prescription and got it filled... and they gave me the brand. They didn't ask if I wanted a generic, they didn't provide a generic. So I took what I was given. Once started, however, I'm not now willing to risk my health.

They consider a 12% difference to be 'bioequivalent.' With some medications, that might be ok (although, IMO, that's too large a difference with ANY medication, but that's my opinion. I see no reason why their effectiveness should not be required to be EXACTLY that of the brand if you're going to call them equivalent). With thyroid, it's enough to put you in the hospital or KILL you. You'll forgive me if I feel that my health is that important, and something tells me that I wouldn't have saved any money with the office visits and labwork that would have been needed, anyway, even if I hadn't ended up in the hospital.

Having said all that, your statement above is kind of the POINT. With a $45 copay, PLUS the difference in cost between the generic and brand (and isn't that what we're paying the increased copay FOR in the first place?), they're NOT PAYING FOR ANYTHING. They haven't paid a penny for my thyroid medication for 2 1/2 years now. And they sent a letter (less than 30 days beforehand) almost two years ago, that they would no longer be covering another script AT ALL. Period. Full stop. And yet they have the NERVE to tell me when I can and cannot have it refilled, though they refuse to cover it. So, why, exactly, am I sending them money every month that I could be using to pay for my scripts?

Actually, I'll tell you why-- because it's bundled with the medical coverage, and if I want that, I have no choice.

Now, please, go tell your bosses at Caremark that you haven't convinced me, or anyone else I know who has dealt with them.

2/365-- Hillary

2007-11-11T06:56:00.000-08:00

Hillary-- generous, open, encouraging. My first real acting class outside of college. Helped me believe in myself enough to try it again, for real this time. Whatever career I have, I owe to her. Exercises, safety, risk. Pride, learning, teaching.

This week.....

2007-11-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

has just basically sucked, for the most part. The kids were really off this week. I'm still not sure why, but REALLY off. I'm really not feeling well... my thyroid needs to be checked, BIG time. I am feeling the fatigue, and the lack of ability to physically do stuff, which makes rehearsals (and learning lines!) tough. I'm doing fairly well learning my lines, but there are two scenes that are real bears and that's driving me nuts!

EVERY DAY (except Friday), there have been HUGE accidents-- and not just one or two, but a LOT of them. On Thursday, it took me over TWO HOURS to get to work. And I've been asked to do several extra things for work, as well, which I really don't mind doing, but right now I don't feel like I have the time. It's really hard to coordinate having everything I need where and when I need it for work, which is yet another stress, and I'm finding it hard to get up in the mornings (yet another reason for me to know that I need my thyroid checked, IMMEDIATELY). And I'm just feeling in general, depressed about everything that's going on and am afraid to look at my 401(k) right now.

And on Wednesday, I'm up in my room teaching and one of the guys comes up and says, "You'd better check your car. You have a flat tire!" Well, it wasn't quite flat, but it was getting there fast. And it was fine (to the eye) that morning, although I had noticed a little vibration and pulling when I braked the night before, so it was a slow leak, apparently. Called AAA, and they tell me that my membership has expired, and they didn't get my check for the renewal BACK IN AUGUST. ::SIGH:: NOW, you tell me? Anyway, I had to pay by credit card (they were really nice about it), and now I'll have to try to find the check (which won't be easy since the bank doesn't return cancelled checks anymore).... anyway, the guy who came out was very nice. He put air in it, and I put some more in a bit later, and then went to get it fixed. Cost me $25 and 2 hours of time!!!!

We got our info for our benefits enrollment for next year. I was HOPING that it would be better. It's not. The medical coverage is not a problem (although it's expensive, when I hear what other people are paying for theirs, I feel lucky). It's the Rx that I can't stand. They changed two years ago to a particular company, which was then 'taken over' (I guess) by Caremark. I HATE Caremark. I hate them with a passion. The first thing they did was IN THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR, the increased our co-pay. When called to ask why, the only answer I got from them was, "We're not your insurance company, we're just an administrative company." Yet, EVERY SINGLE COMMUNICATION avenue goes to them, so you can't actually TALK to anyone at the insurance company... but Caremark won't give you any answers. They tried to push a generic thyroid med on me. Now, that would actually sorta be ok, except for the fact that the generic is NOT 'bioequivalent' as they tried to tell me. Their definition of 'bioequivalen' is a TWELVE PERCENT difference in effectiveness. In this case, stronger. Now, for some medications that might not be a problem. For thyroid, it's enough to land you in the hospital. Not to mention that you don't necessarily get the SAME generic each time, and each one is a different strength, so you can never regulate it... and thyroid hormone has a very small margin for error. THEN they sent a notice that they were not going to cover another med AT ALL. So, for two years, every time I go to pick it up, I get, "Don't you have insurance?" And have to explain the whole thing to them-- and then this SAME insurance company that won't COVER it has the NERVE to tell the pharmacy that they won't permit a refill because it's too soon! TWICE. Morons. If I could have, I'd've stopped paying the premiums, because it was simply costing me more money-- they weren't paying for anything... but it's part of the package with the medical coverage, all the same premium.

Anyway, so now we're going to have Rx coverage through BC/BS. Okay, fine. Except that EVERY SINGLE brand medication I looked at (and I looked at a lot, just to see), is what they call a "Tier 3" -- with a very few exceptions that are "Tier 2." "Tier 1" are all the generic ones.

Which means, you pay a co-pay (relatively small one) for a Tier 1 med. A $25 copay for a Tier 2 (a 'preferred brand" med) and for a 'nonpreferred' one (Tier 3), you pay FORTY FIVE dollars, PLUS the difference in cost between the generic and brand, up to the cost of the script. Which means, again, I'll be paying premiums and getting nothing in return. Oh, it just INFURIATES me how they can take advantage of people. And how we spend SO MUCH on health care costs, and get relatively little for it, in comparison to other countries. We have one of the most expensive health care systems in the WORLD, and yet we are FORTY FIRST in life expectancy among the industrialised nations.

1/365-- Mom

2007-11-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

Got this idea from http://backporchervations.blogspot.com/ -- a very interesting idea.... each day for 365 days, choose one person you've known who impacted you and write a certain number of words about them (could be your age, or another number you choose). Started with a guy who wanted to celebrate turning 40 in an unusual way. Here's his original.

http://www.logolalia.com/40x365/

OK, here goes....

Muv-- amazingly strong, beautiful, courageous, loves animals, able to do anything. Still, doing more than those half her age,-- "What am I supposed to do? Just sit here?" Green thumb (wish I'd inherited that!). Classy, determined, always positive. My hero.

...Oh, and.....

2007-11-05T18:17:00.000-08:00

I guess I should add to the avalanche hearing our alleged president say that to have his AG nominee answer questions about waterboarding would be giving terrorists the 'playbook' about what we would or would not do.... OMG!! As the one senator said, I WANT my president and AG to be CLEAR to EVERYONE that the US does NOT condone and will NOT allow torture! Aside from the fact that that just drags us down to their level, it DOES NOT WORK. It has been proven time and time again that information extracted through coercive methods is NOT reliable. It's just NOT. And to think that we have someone who is supposed to represent us who thinks that it's ok! I am just really depressed right now, about a whole lot of things....

Where are we.......

2007-11-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

and why are we in this handbasket??

WHAT is happening? It seems that just in the last week or so, the whole world is suddenly collapsing. We have the situation in Pakistan, where at least 1500 people have been arrested for DARING to protest the martial law imposed by a dictator they didn't ask for... and Bush's response is, "I would hope he would take off his uniform." @@ I mean, seriously????? What the heck is THAT about? And he's STILL giving him aid and STILL says this person (absolutely not any better than Saddam Hussein) is a 'partner in the war on terror.' ::SIGH::

Gas prices have jumped THIRTY CENTS in just the last couple of weeks-- and they say it is only going to go higher-- another 20 cents or more! Very worrisome, especially with the SEVENTY FIVE percent increase in electricity costs in the last couple of years, and now they're asking for MORE! That apparently just wasn't enough!

And, now, the writer's strike, which is actually hitting much closer to home right now. With my friends in the Guild who are being hit hard by this immediately, it worries me, with the SAG contract coming up soon, and the possibility that SAG may go out sooner in support of the WGA, this could last for a LONG, LONG time. We're talking through the fall of next year. Last time, it was 22 weeks... that's going to impact me and a LOT of my friends. :*( But, the thing is that the WGA is NOT asking for unreasonable concessions, and SAG is going to be asking for the same for us actors. If they don't get it, neither will we. But, this is going to devastate a LOT of people, not just writers, actors, directors, etc.... but all of the tech crews, the catering crews, and everyone else who supplies goods or services to the film/television industry. All over the COUNTRY. But, the producers are acting like they're asking for the moon, and as if THEY have been SO accommodating. PLEASE. They never even made a COUNTER proposal to the proposal of EIGHT LOUSY CENTS per DVD. HOW is that asking for something unreasonable??? And if it is, why not make a counter? That IS what negotiating is supposed to be about, isn't it?

I'm truly starting to get a little scared about the future...... may God truly bless us right now, and protect us from our own mistakes.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

2007-11-03T19:41:00.000-07:00

Well, she most certainly did help!!!! I think she gave me the key, and I hope I can do what she wants me to do!!!!! She helped a lot, and was very positive... but she told me that my headshot was 'REALLY, REALLY bad," and not to send it out to anyone... I knew it wasn't great, but I didn't think it was HORRIBLE. Oh, well... off to NY I will be. I didn't want to spend that much money, but it will be worth it to FINALLY have a headshot I can get work from.

I spent as much on my first ones several years ago (not including hair and makeup) as a couple of names I've been given, so I guess it will be worth the investment. I just have to find time to spend a day in NY, and that's not easy, either. Not to mention either driving up there or trying to carry what I need on either the train or bus. ACK! Oh, well, we'll see, but it's going to HAVE to be NY.

We really worked on 'strippping,' as she calls it-- distilling it down to the very basics. It was EXCELLENT, and 'grueling,' but very definitely worth it. I really DO understand now why I haven't booked a whole lot of film/tv auditions I've gone on. Now, I have to work on the 'vulnerability.' Tomorrow's scenes are tailor-made for that, so hopefully I can really nail them! We discussed what types we were, and she was very clear and straightforward, even blunt about what was good and what didn't work, so it was VERY valuable. I'm hoping tomorrow will be just as good.

Then I went out with T's class for dinner. I only went really because of the special guest who was there-- and it was great to meet him! :) However, $25 for paella that had shrimp and mussels in it (which I didn't/couldn't eat), a salad that had mussels in it (which again, I couldn't/didn't eat--although the waitress brought me a separate side salad with no seafood, which was very nice of her, and the salad was ok), and some chicken thing which I don't THINK had seafood in it-- we'll know for sure in the next few hours!-- just was NOT worth it. Oh, well, the company was great and that's all that really matters!

....And so it begins....

2007-11-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

WGA has decided to strike. This is going to impact pilot season BIG time. The studios are so greedy.... the agreement they have right now with regards to dvds, downloads, etc... all the 'new' media... was reached in the 1980s, LONG before they had the impact they have now. Yet ANOTHER indication that studios (and thus the entertainment industry) are now run by 'suits' who care ONLY about the bottom line, and couldn't care LESS about the creativity or the quality of the product.

The last time this happened, they mad reruns of old shows (like Dark Shadows)... just reused scripts. Not going to happen this time... the entire sets are going to be shut down.

And whatever the agreement is with WGA is going to impact the negotiations with SAG and determine whether we actors strike this summer. I can only hope this is a very short strike. As both an actor and someone who loves tv and movies. ::SIGH::

Me, I have to worry about the workshop tomorrow... I REALLY want to nail these scenes and hope that she will call me for pilot season (if there IS one at this point!)..... or have some good advice on how to take my career to the next stage. Not to mention improve my booking rate re: film/tv. And, most of all, I think it will be fun!!!!!